Turbulence 3 - Part 2
April 1st 2008 13:10
If anyone could show Slade Craven how to really shock people, this is the guy to do it. Taking his name from two famous people, one a Hollywood icon and who slaughtered a Hollywood icon, Marilyn Manson's look just speaks for itself.
Craven is pissed off about the feed getting cut off. Joe Mantagna and his partner show up at Z-Web TV’s station annoyed that they are missing dinner. The agents tell the airport they wants information on everything while Craven starts to rant on about anticipation. Meanwhile Nick gets the feed back online and begins to think that isn’t the real Craven, but someone else dressed like him. He hacks into the airport’s system and gets a list of passengers and while Agent Hayden uses the FBI database to scan the names.
Craven begins talking to the director telling him to put him through to the flight tower at the airport. They do and the tower suddenly explodes. Wow that was pretty random. Craven is happy they are back online and it turns out the co-pilot of the plane is part of Craven’s cause, smashing all communication devices in the cockpit. Joe Mantagna wants to find out who the hell Craven really is while Agent Hayden manages to match someone on board with one of the criminals on the database. Nick runs a program to compare the voices of Craven. They use one of Craven singing and Craven talking normally, and discover they are different! Well of COURSE people sound different when they sing and talk normally. Freaking idiots…
The real Craven has been tied up and locked away in a compartment in the airplane. He watches the live feed from a computer and gets pissed off that someone is ruining his going away concert. The guy who is on the plane who is dressed up as Craven is a Satan worshiper. People start crying and he tells them all to shut up or he’ll send them to “La-La Land”. Deadly words coming out of the mouth of a devil worshiper. Meanwhile Nick & Hayden discover Fake Craven’s part of a cult and go to their website. There’s a prophecy on the website and the two believe that Fake Craven is going to fulfill this.
So what is this prophecy? If I were watching this at the cinemas this is probably where I wouldn’t be able to stand this movie anymore and just leave. Ok, are we all ready for this? The prophecy talks about a flaming wreck crashing into some unholy place where the Anti-Christ will die and using the souls of 10 million people, they will open the gates the hell and unleash Satan. Yes, I am not making any of this up, they are going to fly the plane into the ground with Craven who has been described as the Anti-Christ while 10 million people watch on from their computers.
Craven gets a knife and starts cutting himself free while the airport can’t come into contact with the pilot. People are tracking the plane and can’t get in contact with the cockpit. Joe Mantagna gets on a headphone and speaks to Fake Craven and they take about how hot Erica is. Fake Craven takes about the prophecy while Craven tries to get out of the room but it has been locked. Fake Craven talks about a church in eastern Kansas that is SO evil the pope won’t fly over it. Give me a f***ing break seriously this movie is just getting worse as it continues. The church is where they are going to fly the plane into as more fans log on to the show.
One of the biggest bands to come out of Europe, the German group Rammstein literally burn their stages wherever they play. Their explosive concerts and kick ass songs make Craven and his band look like a bunch of kids banging on pots and pans in their Mama's kitchen.
Craven manages to find a headset in his room and somehow manages to talk to Nick and Agent Hayden. They ask how do they know how it’s the real Craven and he says he paid over four million in taxes. Nick checks out the information and it’s correct. Nick’s excited that he is speaking to the real Craven and they have a little chat about the situation. Back at the stage the cameraman and one of the band members jump Fake Craven and his wig falls off. Erica takes the gun and shoots the band member who is attacking Fake Craven! Oh the twist! It turns out Erica is some high priestess within the cult and they are going to summon Satan! Craven watches on from his little prison room and starts crying. See people he isn’t as hardcore as he makes out he is.
Erica now begins ranting on about the prophecy and how Craven is a false prophet. Nick tells Craven they are going to help him take over the plane since they can see everything that is going on. Fake Craven comes for the real one but Craven knocks him out and escapes the room. Meanwhile the co-pilot is listening to some opera music as he begins to dip the plane towards the ground.
Erica is coming after Craven and he jumps her on the stage. The wire on the microphone breaks loose as Erica kicks the total crap out of the rockstar. She grabs the gun but he trips her over and she sits in the electric chair. Craven gets the wire and electrocutes Erica in the chair! Oh God who didn’t see that one coming? All the Goths are freaking out and Craven slaps the corpse of Erika. He says goodbye to his dead friend, heads to the cockpit and tells the pilot to land the plane. The pilot asks if he can fly so Craven lowers the gun. The pilot talks about relaxing while listening to the opera, then pulls out a gun and kills himself in what is the cleanest suicide I have ever seen. The gun doesn’t even make a bang and there’s no blood all over the place, just a hole in the guy’s chin.
If these guys were dead they would be rolling in their graves if they knew how Craven ruined the genre that Black Sabbath helped established. I'm sure Ozzy Osbourne wouldn't mind biting the head of this stupid dingbat.
Now no one can land the plane so Craven is going to give it a try anyway. Wait hang on a second Nick is going to be landing the plane. He hacks into the control system of the plane, grabs hold of a joystick and loads up a flight simulator game. I know, it’s getting worse by the minute what did I tell you? Joe Mantagna is getting annoyed at Hayden for going attempting to land but they have no other option. There’s only two minutes until impact! Craven pulls back on the handle and levels out the plane while Nick is telling him what to do. He punches in the numbers to activate the autopilot.
Fake Craven comes from behind and takes out the real Craven. Fake starts kicking Craven while he is down but the singer fights back. He knocks him out with a fire extinguisher and locks him in a cupboard. A pilot manages to get in contact with Nick and tells him how to instruct Craven to land the plane, which is pretty much the same stuff Nick was telling Craven earlier. The plane is coming in to the landing strip and Craven puts it in auto-pilot in but it’s not working. Craven throws off his devil symbol, prays to God and manually pilots the plane himself. There’s static and it seems like they crashed but don’t worry they landed safely! Everyone at Z-Web TV, everyone inside the plane, Nick and Agent Hayden celebrate.
Craven tells everyone that they are going to re-fuel, then they are going to take off and start the concert from the beginning? Wait after all that time and after everything that happened, they are just going to continue the concert? Don’t worry about the dead pilot, the dead band member, the dead cultists or the fact everyone almost died just seconds ago, let’s go back up and rock on! Joe Mantagna tells Hayden she did a very good job. Nick wants to celebrate and Hayden pulls out the handcuffs. He puts them on, and she starts stripping off… so I’ll assume that she is going to bang the guy for saving the plane.
Everyone gets off the plane and the cameraman puts one of the gothic chicks from the start of the movie on a live webcast. She starts reporting about what happened as Craven comes out and hugs all of his fans. He hugs his band members and joining in with the cheering as the movie comes to an end.
Yeah… that’s it. They land the plane and everyone lives happily ever after. I’m not going to say anymore about this movie I’ll keep it bottled inside me until I write up the Top 5 Flops & Final Thoughts. Just do me one thing before that day Bucket Heads, don’t you DARE attempt to try and find this crap movie just to find out how crap it really is. Until then take care of yourself.
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Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
cheers
fog
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Snipets
Yeah I agree Manson stunned and shocked a bunch of people yet they do forget people have been doing it a lot longer than he has been. You gotta love how those right wingers and everyone else blame him and just about every other metal band for all the wrong in the world
Thanks for the comment!
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
yeah isn't it amazing, the right wing sets up all these huge catastrophes, then has to try and blame the degradation of society on the youth as they remove funding and support, and jack up the cost of everything...an old trick...only the truly brain washed and Nazi-esques could believe their lies, so pathetically transparent to anyone of an average intelligence.
And you are dead right, Marilyn is just a present day continuum of a long line of activists, in music in particular, but also the Beat Poets etc
I remember when Jimi Hendrix was being attacked by the hardliners, because of his anti-war, anti-Vietnam stance, never forget hearing those long sliding chords representing the falling bombs in his version of the Star Spangled Banner...man, those were the days!
cheers
fog
(Oh, and don't forget the hypocrisy of the Vatican in their attack on Manson!!)
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Snipets