The End of the Bucket?
December 16th 2008 07:34
Can it really be? Has The Bucket been kicked over for good?
Friends...
Family...
My dear Bucket Heads around the world...
I have some terrible news...
I started this website last year with the hope that I would help ease the pain of fellow movie lovers worldwide from having to watch the worst movies in the world. My crusade was a brave one, a foolish one but still a brave one. I thought that I would stand up against the evil, vile movie machines of Hollywood that chuck up such disgusting movies. I thought that alerting the world about my discoveries would save thousands, millions, if not BILLIONS of lives! I thought I was going a good thing... but I was wrong.
For you see I decided a few weeks ago to begin my crusade once again, (I got a lot of things under control right now
), so I grabbed my keys and headed to the door. I was going to drive down to my local movie store, grab those terrible movies from the shelves and slap the reviews up here to alert you all - my Bucket Heads - of their badness!By something was holding me back as I placed my key into the hole of the door. It was as if a spirit from the realm of bad movies was calling out it me. A chill ran down my spine as I remove the key from the door and placed it back into my pocket. I turned around and the bizarre feeling that I had seemed to be coming from my parents' bedroom. I felt there was something evil, something sinister, brewing inside (and no you dirty freak I'm not talking about them doing the hanky panky. Why the hell do you think of these things!?).
My father is a rapid movie watcher. He has hundreds of DVDs and videos, hell probably THOUSANDS of them! I reached for the cupboard in my parents' room that stores all these DVDs and videos.
My heart was beating faster than an F1 racecar...
I felt goosebumps rising on my arms...
I took in a deep breath and opened the cupboard up. Surely, surely my household couldn't contain bad movies... could it? After all my hard work crusading against the worst movies in the world, surely there wouldn't be any bad movies in my house... could there?
I was wrong. Oh Bucket Heads how I was WRONG!!!
T'was a HAVEN OF TRASH!!! It felt like some blob of a human being stepped off a roller coaster and hurled up steamy projectile vomit all over me. I'm talking about the chunky, gooey "Oh look I see you had chicken for lunch" type of vomit! I felt dirty! I felt betrayed! Bad movies in my household!? After all my hard work my father has bought bad movies!?
DOZENS OF THEM!!! DOZENS OF THEM I SAY!!! They were all around me! I couldn't escape from them! I didn't have to go searching for bad movies in stores I just had to walk a few meters to my parents' bedroom to find it! I grabbed them all in my HAZMAT Suit and I have sealed them all up, hoping no one will ever touch them.
Well, someone has Bucket Heads. Me. I am slowly opening the container and one by one, these movies are getting destroyed as we speak. My crusade is stronger than ever before and soon, I shall reveal to the world my findings! The Bucket will not die! I cannot allow such a disaster to stop me!
Bare with me Bucket Heads, this is going to be the beginning of a long war! And it's not going to be pretty...
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