The Core - Final Thoughts
January 12th 2008 04:01
To View Past The Core Posts, Click The Following Links:
Part 1 – The Bucket’s ‘Guide to the End of the World’.
Part 2 – Our Brave Heroes.
Part 3 – Dr. Josh Keyes AKA Dr. MMWHABAHF.
Part 5 – The Bucket’s ‘Guide to Surviving a Dangerous Trip to Save the World’.
The end of the week draws near which means another bad movie has been put to rest. It’s time to say a quick eulogy for The Core before giving it its fond farewell down the toilet.
The Loathes:
Let’s start off with how stupid I thought it was that due to the core’s halt in rotation, people’s pacemakers stopped. Why the hell did everything relate to the core to begin with? Pacemaker stopping, bird’s flight rotation and the sun shooting down gigantic beams is a direct result of the core moving? Trust Hollywood to over exaggerate like they always do in movies.
The characters in the movie sucked. They were too flat and they were just your stereotypical characters that you’ve all seen in a disaster movie. You have your average leader who isn’t anything special, a bitchy female role who ends up with the leader of the team, an asshole who wants to turn back around only to continue on and help the team, a token black person, a random European person and an aging member who’s going to past on the torch to someone else to the team.
You could even predict what was going to happen in this damn movie. Ship gets stuck, everyone’s outside with huge rock flying around so you’ll assume someone is gonna get hit. Trouble in the ship, time to seal off the session so you’ll assume someone is gonna get stuck. Someone has to risk their life to fix the ship; they’ll end up dying and so on. Of course you could even predict the ending I won’t tell you what it is but I’m pretty sure you can guess. Just think of the most typical Hollywood ending… there ya go!
Here’s something else that annoyed me. It wasn’t a big thing but I still got annoyed when I watched it as it just added to my hatred of far-fetched Hollywood movies. As the ship is diving underwater to go into the center of the world pods of whales and dolphins start swimming around the ship. Sure you might think it’s cute but to me it sucked. I know dolphins swim with ships but gigantic metal spaceships? Maybe they needed to add in a couple of mermaids in the mix and turn the movie into a live-action Little Mermaid movie. Probably would have been a lot better too.
I hate it when a movie suggests that the mission is going to fail about an hour into the movie when the movie has about 1 or 2 hours left. It’s done poorly in this movie when the ship is venturing into the earth’s crust. The ship, amazingly, runs into an underwater earthquake and the crew panics. Idiots, if they died now what the hell are they going to fill up the other hour of the movie with?
The ending of the movie sucked too. Yeah they saved the world big deal but it was what followed that annoyed me. First the government wanted this whole thing about the core being kept secret though I’m sure people are going to wonder how the hell the sun managed to fire down lasers. So people will know about the others who died for the mission, they get that hacker Xena lover geek to upload the files on the Internet so everyone knows and THAT is how the movie ends. No speech on how we must look after our planet for the generations to come, we all go home knowing that some nerd just let out a top secret government project all over the World Wide Web.
The Likes:
There was something I did like about this movie and it was the scene with Rome getting destroyed by the huge lightning storm. I thought the graphics were pretty good and it’s always fun watching things blow up but again I gotta complain. If it’s a huge lightning storm everything should be getting destroyed and not just a few trademarks. Other then the lightning storm everything else was pretty dull.
The Script / Plot:
The earth’s core has stopped moving and it means the world is going to burn up like a peach. Assemble a crack team of scientists to go start the core up again, add in a few deaths of the members and finish off the movie with a nice Hollywood ending where everyone goes home happy.
Enough said about the script but I will mention there are a lot of plot holes present. Why does the sun beam down huge lasers of the earth’s core stopped moving? Are they connected in some way? How can the core stop pacemakers and confuse birds? Why the hell did that asshole Keyes burn a perfectly good peach? Why would the U.S government want to try and start up the core with the same machine that stopped it?
Yeah you read that last question right. When the team looks like it was going to fail the government issued the same weapon they were testing out that was responsible for stopping the core from spinning would be used to start it up. Which brings me to this question: if the government KNEW that THEIR machine was the REASON why the core stopped moving, WHY THE HELL DID THEY GO OUT AND ASK FOR ADVICE FOR OTHER PEOPLE!? This doesn’t make any damn sense and now that I think about it I want to headbutt my computer monitor.
Here’s another example of a goof. The movie takes place mainly in the middle of the earth. They are thousands of miles underneath the earth’s surface. Now keeping that in mind, why the HELL were their rocks and diamonds floating around the place like they were in the middle of space? I think the director must have been smoking some heavy crack to not only film this but not realize there is a different between outer space and the middle of the earth.
There were also too many scientific terms to keep up with. They would run off a bunch of huge terms and someone would ask for the meaning of one. Were the writers just assuming that everyone had a major in Geometry and Science and knew what the characters were talking about? This is why I won’t be using huge confusing words in my novels and scripts so I won’t confuse my readers and audience. If a character mentions a huge word, I’ll have a dumb character ask what it means and have him explain it. I won’t assume that everyone knows what the hell I am talking about.
The Actors:
Average job by everyone involved. Let’s give them a huge pat on the back for making this movie even more boring than what it was. I guess the only two people who put in any offer were Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank who played Josh Keyes and Rebecca Childs. I feel that if either were replaced in this movie by someone else less average the movie would have really suffered. The other actors were boring and annoying. On a side note I’m looking forward to Aaron Eckhart playing Harvey Dent / Two-Face in the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Knight. That’s going to be one hell of a movie and will help me forget this bad piece of crap.
The Changes:
Change the movie? I would probably not film it. Honestly this movie is just one of the many movies that came out around 2000 that involved some disaster with the planet. If it wasn’t a comet that was going to hit the earth it was a huge asteroid. If it wasn’t a huge asteroid it was huge tornado. If it wasn’t a huge tornado it was an invasion of aliens that had legs for arms, hands for legs and butts for faces. Each one of these disaster movies had a different threat to the planet but were all the same in that they were all too predictable.
Final Thoughts:
This was a pretty bad movie just like most global disaster movies out there. It’s just too predictable and the ending is your typical Hollywood crap. I hated how far-fetched this movie was and the way they made everything, from birds going crazy to the sun unleashing its wrath on the planet, tied into the earth’s core not moving. They could have at least made it slightly realistic but some might argue it’s a disaster movie so things have to be unreal.
That’s the problem about disaster movies that I have, they all are too unrealistic. If a disaster movie came out they should make it realistic as it would probably create a lot more viewer angst. If I watched a movie based on a hurricane that ripped through Melbourne I would be shit scared as long as it were kept real. I think the best disaster movies are ones that involve a city getting destroyed by an atomic bomb though today it would probably stress out thousands of people from the threat of terrorists.
If you’re into chessey disaster movies I would say The Core could be the movie for you but I am positive you would get bored with just seeing people talking about the core and build a ship for one hour, then spend the next hour and a bit watching them dig through the earth. This movie dragged out too long, the acting was below average, the script was poor and thank GOD I am now done with the review. I enjoyed ripping apart this movie than watching it just like all the movie on this site.
The Core goes back into the Bucket and it is going to remain there for the rest of its terrible existence. That’s all I have to say Bucket Heads. Monday will kick off a brand new movie involving a lake that is far from being ‘placid’. Until then have a fun and safe weekend and I shall see you all soon. Peace!
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