The Bucket's Worst Movie List
March 31st 2008 23:06
This website is home to the worst movies out there, but what really are the worst of the worst?
I was sitting around with some friends the other day and they were talking about my website. They said they know a bunch of really bad movies and wonder why I only put up the select few that I have done so far. I told them I try to balance my website out with some well known movies and some movies that aren’t well known. As we continued to talk one of my friends asked what are some movies that I could consider the worst of all time.
That got me thinking, there’s TONS of bad movies out there and about twenty-five of those movies have been posted or are about to be posted on this website. I’ve seen plenty more than that over the years but it made me think, what would I consider the worst movies of all time? So I sat down, wrote up a list of bad movies and placed them in my Top 10 Worst Movies of all time.
Generally I am right, wait what am I saying? I am ALWAYS right whenever I see a bad movie! The following ten movies I have considered to be the worst of the worst. These stand out as the biggest piles of CRAP that I have ever seen in my entire life. Let’s just put our diving gear on and dive deep within the Bucket!
10: The Shawshank Redemption.
This movie should be renamed “The Bore-shank Redemption” because that is all this movie had done to be from the start right up to the finish. Here we have a movie involving some random white prisoner who killed his wife and her lover and denied it trying to prove that he didn’t do it. Morgan Freeman stands out in the movie for his role as a gentle, quiet, calm black man which is why the majority of his movies suck. The only reason why this movie isn’t up there somewhere in the top three spot is the fact this movie is about a prison, and Oz was a great TV show about a prison so when I think of this crap movie, I think of Oz.
9: Jurassic Park.
Oh look a movie about giant dinosaurs how original. Steven Spielberg had his ass kissed hardcore by everyone when this came out but it really sucked. The effects weren’t even life like and the dinosaurs didn’t even sound like dinosaurs. Actually, how did they know what a dinosaur sounds like? There weren’t any sound recording devices or anything back in those days. I don’t like it when people just assume they know what something sounds or looks like and just goes with it. The plot was flawed and all the characters had to do from the beginning was just put bullets through all the dinosaur’s head. It would have saved them time running around doing pointless things and would have saved me the time I wasted watching this heap of prehistoric rubbish.
8: The Matrix.
This is probably one of the most confusing movies that I have ever seen. If I could take the red pill or the blue pill, whatever that stupid pill was to erase your memory, I would take it. This movie just kept asking questions and they gave no answers at all. You have to love a movie that basically rips off the Bible, you know there’s a “One” who is going to save us all and lead us to the promised land? In fact that’s all this movie was, it was the bible but everyone was wearing trench coats and ran around shooting everything that moved. Hey Wachowski Brothers! You can stick your stupid attempt at trying to mix science fiction and philosophy where the sun don’t shine.
7: Psycho.
Alfred Hitchcock, some say he is the grandfather of the horror genre but I say he is the grandfather of bad movies. This guy was like a production line of bad movies and one of his worst HAS to be this movie. Psycho is not a slasher movie or a horror movie its just about some guy who dresses up like his mother and murders some people. This was so damn boring that I was going to start killing people and film it, since it would have been a better horror movie than this. Hitchcock is a hack, and thank God the remake of this movie made it better.
6: The Star Wars Trilogy.
Yeah I know you’re agreeing with me right now, the Star Wars Trilogy sucks. If you’re agreeing with me here you’re probably also agreeing that the recent three movies George Lucas made (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones & Revenge of the Sith) were way better than the original. The original three movies, (A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi) completely SUCKED! Those movies were totally boring and the special effects were pathetic for the time. Don’t give me that bullcrap that they were ground breaking because there were tons of movies that had better effects and they were made earlier than these three stinkers. At least the new three movies didn’t suck, in fact they are freaking awesome. The new movies blow away the old movies totally, especially with their awesome special effects.
5: Saving Private Ryan.
Just what we needed, another war movie to be squeezed in with the one million other war movies out there. The only difference is that this war movie was directed by Steven Spielberg so it stands out there as a real eye sore. This movie was totally overdone I mean I’ve seen war on the TV and it looks nowhere as barbaric as this movie makes out it is. Why Spielberg decided to just make up facts and portray the war in his “vision” is beyond me. What was up with the character development in that movie anyway? They kept on mentioning information about their lives that no one cared about. It was probably an attempt to get some “connection” between the characters and the audience before they were killed. Long story short, probably one of the worst war movies that I’ve ever seen.
4: Pulp Fiction.
The beginning of the movie started off with the middle. The middle of the movie contained the ending. The ending of the movie finished off with the beginning. It is obvious that while growing up Quentin Tarantino has never watched a movie before. If he had watched a movie he would have known to make one right. I love how he covered his ass by saying what he done was “unorthodox”. I watched it three times trying to understand just what the hell this movie is about but I still can’t figure it out. It keeps jumping from one story to the next to the next. How about we just keep it simple ok Quentin and not try to be “unique” ok? When you write a normal script that 99.99% of the world’s population can understand then we’ll be cool.
3: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
If you think Shawshank is a boring movie just wait until you sit through one of these long, boring movies. Peter Jackson should get an Oscar for “Movie To Put You To Sleep” he would win every single year I’m telling you. This movie hits the number three spot because I never made it through any one of these movies. Had I not fallen asleep and watched it all the way through it most likely would have taken the number one position. The people who gave him the Oscars for this movie should be shot.
I mean, who thought making a movie three times about some midget taking a ring across the world would be a good idea? Each movie is the same as the next. They get the ring, the walk for 2 hours, they talk a little, stop to sleep, they have a little battle, and the credits roll. You can manage to catch all of this borefest if you don’t fall asleep at the beginning which is a task impossible to achieve without coffee or speed. I would only say watch this movie if you’re suffering from insomnia because this is going to put you into a coma.
2: The Indiana Jones Trilogy.
I should fly down to Hollywood and give Steven Spielberg a special award as five of his movies managed to make it on the list. I’m not going to say one of Indy’s movies sucked, they ALL sucked. Let’s begin with the first one, Raiders of the Lost Ark. No one knows what is inside the Lost Ark and no one really cares so why they had to make a movie about it I will never know.
Then we have our second movie Temple of Doom which is set in a third world country and focuses on Indy saving some random poor village. Finally we have the third installment the Last Crusade which involves Indy looking for the Holy Grail, he finds it and doesn’t even bring it with him. Since he is looking around for all of these special artifacts why doesn’t he just take them, sell them and make a crap load of money at the end of each movie? Instead he just walks off back to his university.
Each movie is exactly the same. Indy starts off at some random place with a small artifact, finds out about a bigger one to find, bangs a random chick, races to the artifact against the bad guys, gets the artifacts and pisses off to his university. Each movie was just as bad as each other and the fact that Steven Spielberg is making ANOTHER one just shows how stupid you people who like this type of crap really are.
1: The Godfather.
How the HELL can you people like this movie? This movie has been declared by critics and reviewers and movie lovers all around the world as being one of the greatest, if not THE greatest, movies of all time. I’ll thank this movie for kicking off the stupid Mafia-related movies and television shows that followed. Thank you Francis Ford Coppola for creating a genre that has been overdone for decades.
What is so good about this movie? It’s about some old bastard who wants to stop being in the Mafia or something so he hands it over to his son. I don’t even know why they call this stupid movie the Godfather. Is it because everyone comes to him for protection and help? Why don’t they just call him the “Caretaker” or the “Helper” wouldn’t it make a lot more sense? What made it worst was the fact the role of the Godfather was played by a washed up actor that many considered this to be his greatest role in a movie. That sucks for him honestly if this crap was considered his best.
The movie was too long and went no where. A father hands over his Mafia Empire to his son, the end. See how long I summed up the movie? That’s how quick it should be but instead they just stretched it out over three hours. This was THE worst movie that I have ever seen and it very hard for a movie to be called that for me. The second movie was just as pointless as the first, I don’t care of Michael wants to build a casino, but thank God the third movie kicked ass. I honestly think that Godfather 3 saved the trilogy from being terrible.
So there you have it Bucket Heads love my choices or hate them I am always right when it comes to reviewing bad movies. I think this is a pretty impressive list and this page should be printed millions of times and dropped from airplanes all around the world so that everyone knows just how crap these so called “awesome” movies really are. Until my next review I hope you all take care of yourselves and don’t worry, these movies will be featured on this website in the near future.
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Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Though i do admit i really do hate The Matrix and Shawshank Redemption.
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
My master plan has gone to crap! Curse your and your knowledge of calenders!
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
And your deconstruction of Pulp Fiction was just too knowledgeable for someone pretending to dislike it.
But good job otherwise.
But I'm with John Doe on Shawshank. I don't hate it exactly, but it is generally the favourite film of people who don't watch a lot of film.
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Glad I had you going up until Hitchcock I kinda knew that's when people would start getting annoyed
I'm glad you picked up on what I did with Pulp Fiction. I purposely wrote it down that way so it contradicted what I said about not knowing what the movie was about hehe.
Thanks for your comment!
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
You had me going too, because although I really like Shawshank, I know some people don't and so it was feasible you were being serious! Jurrasic Park and The Matrix made sense, then I saw Psycho and thought... psycho! Haha.
Don't worry, I'm not that slow, I caught on by the time I got to Pulp.
Michaelie
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
I think that Psycho seems to be giving away the fact that this is a joke post haha! Hope you got a laugh out of reading this. I'm just glad people are picking up this is an April Fool's post and not actually think I am serious!
Thanks for the comment!
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Glad to see that you enjoyed the post, I think
Comment by www.thedissector.com
I got to the end of this blog and was absolutely fuming. I was about to write the most (and my only ever) abusive comment to a blog. I was smoking, anger pouring out all over the shop - how can 70-something people vote on this blog when clearly...oh, it's April Fool's day. I'm an idiot!
Nice.
Ps: you put in something like Jurassic Park, and I think 'you must be serious - that really was bad.' Way to throw someone off the scent.
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
You have made my day my friend, you really have. I didn't think anyone would have taken this post seriously up to Psycho but it seems that not only did you take the cake, you took the ice cream and whipped cream that went with it. Don't feel stupid because I got a damn good laugh out of it!
I knew I couldn't start my review off with some of the best movies out there so I built it up with some movies that would be popular with about 70%-ish of people out there. I kinda wish you did post your abusive post but, I was actually hoping some people would have
Thank you for the comment, and have a very happy April Fools Day
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
you movie review pranksters are meanies!
too clever for me . . . i am the april fool again!
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Shawshank is wickedly rewatchable, even with some of the tedious middle parts.
Going back and watching the Matrix make you appreciate the imaginative world that the brothers created.
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Looks like another bites the dust! It seems like that April Fools is like the full moon for us movie reviewers - it brings out the nasty side of us! Your response made me chuckle so thanks for being another person to make my day
Hey Cibb,
I'll agree, Shawshank and The Matrix are very good movies but I wouldn't have them on my greatest movie list either. I don't know how Shawshank made Number 2 on the IMDB list, I know there's tons of better movies than that out there.
As for Matrix yeah it was pretty creative until it got turned into that huge train wreck towards the end of the trilogy. Too many things were left open and I really wished they stopped after the first movie, which totally kicked ass over the other two combined.
Thanks for the comments you two!