The Black Hole - Final Thoughts
May 15th 2008 22:41
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Part 1
Part 1
Disaster movie after disaster movie – all of them are so similar yet each one stinks in its own unique way. The Black Hole falls into this heap of crap and it’s time we flush this stinker down the pipes to join its fellow disaster movie brethren.
The Loathes:
A disaster movie involving space, the world should have learnt by now that anything involving a global disaster from space is bound to be a huge disappointment. This movie was no different however instead of something coming out of space – this disaster was a result of an experiment gone wrong. This leads to a man-made black hole which an alien appears.
Now if this was a man-made device gone wrong why do we have an alien popping out of nowhere from it? It would have made sense that an alien attacked Earth and used the black hole both as a means of transport and as its weapon. Damn, I should start writing up a script based around this alone! It could be a great disaster movie in the works – or I could end up reviewing my own movie on this website! Either way it’s a win-win situation for me!
The characters were pretty annoying, boring and typical for this genre of film. They also had the most stupid U.S President that I’ve ever seen in a movie – even more stupid than George Bush. The main character of Eric probably pissed me off more than anyone else. He was that know-it-all stooge
The Likes:
Buildings getting blown up is always good and fortunately some buildings getting destroyed is the only form of entertainment from this movie - even though it was done with terrible CGI effects. I also liked the fact this movie was set in St. Louis as much as I hated it being set in St. Louis. It’s good to see a disaster movie that doesn’t involve NYC, L.A or San Francisco in some way, but St. Louis? Oh wow we get to see some stupid archway and a stadium that every city has get destroyed. Big deal!
The Plot / Script:
A lab accidentally creates a black hole that threatens to destroy the city of St. Louis. It is up to Eric and his assistant/girlfriend Shannon to stop the hole and the alien that wants to destroy the planet!
Yeah it’s as bad as it sounds. The movie was full of plot holes – the best example being no one knew what the experiment was in the first place. Yeah that’s right, the experiment that “created” the black hole was never revealed to us. The only thing we knew about the experiment was that China was running the same thing – and even then we still didn’t know what the hell was going on. Other then that, it was the same typical script you see in any disaster movie.
The Actors:
B-Grade bad actors staring in a movie that was released straight to DVD, need I say more? I’ve seen movies made for TV – with low and high budgets – and there have been some good ones with good acting. These guys probably arrived on set, read their script quickly, and headed back to their jobs at the local gas station.
Final Thoughts:
This movie was definitely up there for being one of the worst disaster movies of all time. It would take the top prize for being the worst space-related disaster movie of all time as well. I mean, you know a movie is going to be bad if they advertise other crappy movies like Komodo vs. Cobra.
It was a slow movie from start to finish and there wasn’t anything interesting about it. They didn’t explain anything about the events or the alien in the movie and to further confuse the audience, scientists in the movie would explain stuff using long words that no one but a English genius would understand.
You’ve seen one disaster movie and you’ve pretty much seen them all. The Black Hole is pretty much the same type of disaster movie we’ve seen recycled one hundred times. The only different with this movie was that it is up there with the worst ones floating around in the world. Bad effects, bad acting, bad script – please do avoid this horrible piece of space crap. If only the black hole would suck this movie into it so we could forget about it. Hell, I’d rather get sucked into the black hole than watch this again.
Back into the Bucket you go Black Hole and may you sink to the bottom with other movies like The Core and Volcano that have all made us shudder at how stupid disaster movies can get. Until next week Bucket Heads take care and have a fun and safe weekend!
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Oh well ...
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Yeah a few people I speak thought I was going to be reviewing the same movie as well. One of them was a fan of the movie when he was a kid and was almost shattered when he heard I was going to review "The Black Hole." I've heard a lot of mixed reactions about that movie so I might give it a watch if I can get my hands on it.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Hehehehe.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Perfect blog to review it!
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
You can insist any joke into this movie about a "hole" and I'm pretty sure this movie tried to do the same at some point. Let's not forget about the mysterious things crawling out of the "hole" shall we?
Bryn,
If the movie is that bad I HAVE to watch it now. Be sure I will try and hunt this movie down!