She's The Man - Final Thoughts
February 7th 2009 00:12
It was a total mess of a click flick and now it’s time to forget about it along with all those other bad teenage movies out there. I had no idea what was going on and after writing out the review, I’m move confused than ever before. She’s The Man was a train wreck waiting to happen and it turned into a Titanic-like disaster. Here’s my Final Thoughts!
What a perfect world…
You know what I really hate - movies that have a perfect society of people where the “losers” are even pretty. I’ve never seen a film in my entire life where 99% of the cast were stunning! I mean, there weren’t any ugly people in that movie besides the principle. Oh and if you are ugly in this movie you’re portrayed as an idiot with no life, sorry to break the news to you ugly people out there.
No one in this movie had a damn flaw. Even the old people were hot! Random students used in the background were attractive as well! It’s like Hitler developed an Aryan society of beautiful people in America before he died! This is Hitler-ville! It really annoyed me seeing so many hot girls… so many hot girls all over my television screen… sorry getting a bit distracted.
Excuse me, but aren’t you meant to be a rich kid?
I’ve seen a lot of movies where there are those rich, posh kids who are the most arrogant people in the world – I love them. I get a kick out of seeing those rich spoiled brats acting like a bunch of assholes to everyone. In this movie, we had a very posh society full of white kids, acting like they spent most of their lives in the ghetto. They were using that hip-hop slang and hung out at places like Pizza Hut.
The biggest example of rich stupidity had to be Duke, the perfect example of your stupid jock. I’ve never seen a guy who was so scared of girls in a movie before, especially the way he looked. It was like he’d never seen a boob before in his life the way he was acting. He’s rich – and rich people pay hookers to do weird sexual acts to them and follow it up with a brutal killing. I know what I’m talking about, I watched American Psycho.
Hi I’m Viola, no wait now I’m Sebastian… ok I’m Viola again!
Alright so the storyline is that Viola dresses up as her brother Sebastian to play soccer. Fair enough. We all knew there had to be a scene where she would be switching back and forth constantly right? Like in Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams was having dinner with his boss and his family at the same time? THAT was funny stuff.
In She’s The Man Viola has to attend some carnival, apparently that’s what rich people do, as herself and as her brother. I think there were at least twenty switches in ten minutes and all of them weren’t even needed. It was like “Oh look it’s her, gotta go!” then “Oh look it’s him, gotta go!” for ten minutes! No one was like “Oh where’s your brother I wanna talk to him?” or “Hey I’ll pay your sister five dollah so she love me long time” – sorry I just watched Full Metal Jacket. Anyway, if the explanation was there I would have been happy… but there never was. It was pointless, stupid and very unfunny.
Are they THAT stupid!?
How stupid do you have to be not realize that someone is a chick dressed up as a dude? Wouldn’t the female structure of the face give it away? Wouldn’t the boobs give it away? The girly hands with the nails? The curves on her body? How about catching her talking like a girl about dresses? Yeah… I guess I’d assume it was a tranny as well. Either Viola looks like a guy… or Sebastian looks too much like a girl. Either way, I think that’s pretty screwed up.
Final Thoughts.
This movie was a wreck from the second it started. Viola looked nothing like a boy and to fool an entire community that she was one is ridiculous. Couldn’t her parents even tell the difference between their own children? Is it so hard to tell that a girl is a guy when she puts on baggy clothes and deeps her voice? Give me a break – whoever thought this idea was good must have been snorted at least a kilo of cocaine.
The only thing good about this movie was Vinnie Jones because he was awesome. There’s nothing better seeing him tossing around a bunch of rich kids by the backs of their necks. I hated that perfect little world everyone lived in and I hated how stupid everyone was. You gotta love movies where someone can screw up dozens of lives because she wants to kick a soccer ball around – then everyone forgives her. What a load of crap.
That’s all I’m going to say about this rubbish Bucket Heads. I shall return next week with another fresh piece of movie crap ready to serve you all. Take it easy!
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