See No Evil - Final Thoughts
February 20th 2009 03:26
Category: S
It was just as bad as some of the wrestling shows on television but nowhere near as entertaining. This was WWE’s first major movie project under their production company - WWE Films - and boy did it SUCK! I don’t know what was worse; the crappy death scenes, the boring characters or the unnatural killer that WWE wrestler Kane played. Hell… even having a wrestler act in a movie is bad enough! Enough ranting, it’s time for bitching! Here’s my Final Thoughts!
Boring characters.
I’ve never see a cast of boring characters ever in a movie. It’s actually sad coming from a company that is famous for producing some of the greatest wrestlers around. Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, The Undertaker, Hulk Hogan… all of these wrestlers were creations of the creative writers of the WWE. What does this have to do with the movie? One of the writers from the show actually wrote this script. He should of stuck with television honestly because this movie was rubbish!
Instead of taking just a little bit of time to establish some characters, they threw like a dozen people on the screen with a very brief description of them. “Here’s so-and-so, he’s in for this!” Yeah that’s very good way to half-arse develop your characters. Like I said, they’ve developed a lot of different characters over the years it’s actually annoying to see such a rush job. They didn’t even focus on a few of them for a bit. Everyone was basically the same as the next person – stupid and confused.
Bad actors.
All actors used in this movie haven’t appeared in anything else as far as I know. It really showed as well since none of them could act. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the director asked a bunch of his friends to be in this movie so it would save money. It’s a horror movie I guess so they never really use any big names – besides an odd one here and there. They all sucked and couldn’t act for crap. All they did was run around and scream annoyingly.
There was one actor that stood out and that’s basically the WWE wrestler Kane, who played the killer Jacob Goodnight (ugh that name sucks so much). It was pretty much like watching him do especially what he does in the ring – besides killing people and he wears different clothes. He was ok as his role of a killer and it wasn’t anything special.
Worst Horror Killer Ever?
I know, you’re thinking “Wait didn’t you just say Kane was good as the killer?” I did say that but you’re forgetting that I just compared him to a bunch of no name actors that I haven’t heard of before. Jacob Goodnight is probably the worst serial killer that I have ever seen in a movie. It was that typical “mummy told me to kill people” background only this time he rips people’s eyes out. Why? They are the “windows to the soul and everyone is dirty and bad!”
Where have I heard that before…
You know what made it worse? Before Jacob appears to kill someone a fly is always buzzing around. That reminded me of that X-Files episode where the executed prisoner’s ghost came back to kill people – man that was a good show before it got all shitty towards the end. Anyway, the flies weren’t hanging around Jacob because he was unhygienic – they were hanging around him because he was FULL OF THEM!!! They cracked open his head and flies started coming out from them. Why they never explained this but come on, I know horror movies are meant to be a little over-the-top but that is ridiculous.
Pick your death: devoured by dogs or swallowing your cell phone.
I thought Final Destination 3 had the worst death scenes in a movie – but I was actually blown away by the stupid death scenes in this movie. First we had Melissa, a hippy dog lover, fall through a glass ceiling and slice her arm open. The dog at the start of the movie she finds in the hotel comes along, and calls for his doggie buddies to join in on a feast.
If you thought that was bad, poor Zoe had a mobile phone that was constantly ring. In the end it rings as Jacob is looking for her and it costs her her life – literally. Jacob grabs it and jams it down her throat. Terrible… just terrible. It still doesn’t beat the bad scenes in FD3. They really like to play the irony card huh?
Wanna know how WWE promoted this movie on their weekly shows?
So… you run a big wrestling company that wants to start breaking into the Hollywood business. You have two weekly television shows that are watched world wide. You’ve just made your first movie and right now you have a pretty good advantage. How do you push this movie and advertise it? By having the wrestler playing the movie’s killer actually think it was real.
You read that right. WWE started running a storyline that Kane thought the movie was real when he was filming it. They spoke to actors and the director of the movie in a “behind the scenes” segment and they all talked about how they were afraid of working for him. Don’t believe me? Go see it for yourself here. Trust me you’ll think it’s terrible as well. Those actors still can’t act even when it’s meant to be “real”.
Furthermore Kane starts freaking out about the movie’s release date. He was losing his mind and WWE showed this by having the voices in his head being heard throughout the arena. Yeah… just as bad as the movie itself huh? Whenever someone mentioned the release date of the movie he’d beat the crap out of them and – wait for it – try and rip out their eye! Silly Kane, movies are pretend!
Final Thoughts.
WWE’s experiment to venture out from the wrestling world into the movie world failed pretty badly in my opinion. Being their first movie it was terrible. No doubt this is probably one of the worst horror movies that I have ever seen. I’ve seen a lot of bad ones and this one really sticks out.
The actors were terrible and their characters were dull and boring. There was nothing special about them and an audience should find out information about characters simply by observing, not by having the information slapped onto the screen like they did. Though Kane did play the killer well and his appearance was frightening, it wasn’t enough to save this movie or even attempt to make it scary. In the end, the movie was about a wrestler called Kane going around doing what he normally does on a weekly basis, only this time people had to pay to watch it at a cinema.
That ends this review and if you think WWE learned their lesson and stopped making movies then you’re dead wrong. They continue to make bad films to this day in fact next week’s review is going to be another movie the company belched out. Until then take it easy Bucket Heads!
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