Roadhouse - Final Thoughts
January 26th 2008 02:06
To View Past Roadhouse Posts, Click The Following Links:
Part 1 – The Story of Roadhouse, Part 1.
Part 2 – The Story of Roadhouse, Part 2.
Part 3 – Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous.
Part 5 – James Dalton, World’s Biggest Douche.
It’s that time of the week when I take this week’s bad movie on display and put it to rest for good back from the bucket that it fell out of. So let’s cut straight to the chase and cap off a week that was Roadhouse.
The Loathes:
The storyline was terrible. I’ll go on about it more below when I get to the script but this movie showed that you cannot make a movie about someone who is hired as a bouncer to turn around a dead-beat place. The acting was really bad as well but I’ll probably be going into more detail when I get to that section as well. So pretty much this movie was terrible, plain and simple.
I really hate what the pub turns into in the end. It goes from the world’s most violent place to the world’s happiest pub in the world. I mean this place makes Cheers look like Oz THAT is how nice and clean it is. This is the first pub that I’ve seen where everyone seems to be getting along with everyone very well. Then again I have never seen a pub that was so violent in the first place at people were dying every night and the place still managed to stay open.
The characters sucked in this movie. We have a rich guy doing whatever the hell he wants and the cops are pretty much letting him get away with it. You have his goons which have to be the world’s most stupid people that you would ever see. It amazes me that these people can still manage the breath. The town was full of stereotypical hillbilly trash you’d find on Jerry Springer and to top it off you’ve got the main character who contradicts everything he says by going around killing everyone.
The ending of this movie was pathetic. Four people murder the rich guy by blasting him away with shotguns and he is in one perfect piece. Not even his guts are spilling out all over the floor that is how clean the kill is. Furthermore they just toss the shotguns to the side as the cops come in and play stupid. I would be very suspicious of I were the cops after walking into a huge massacre and there are six people inside perfectly unharmed.
The Likes:
I will say that I did enjoy the bar brawl scenes in this movie, until they became pretty repetitive. Someone gets smashed from behind with a chair, someone flies through a table, bottles get broken left and right and well… pretty much rinse and repeat. Even when there are no bar brawl scenes the other fight scenes in the movie were pretty much the same. They were cool though but way to overly done and there were too many brawls in the movie which kinda took away the effects of the others.
The Script / Plot:
A bouncer is hired by the owner of a shitty pub who wants him to turn the place into a nice entertainment venue. While trying to work his magic with the place, the bouncer is going to have a run in with the local millionaire who runs the town with an iron fist. The bouncer must stop this evil rich villain before he finds himself caught in his wrath.
Yeah, that was pretty much the plot and it was terrible. Like I mentioned before there is no way anyone can make a good movie about a bouncer who is trying to turn a pub around into a nice venue. It’s clear in this movie that it didn’t work and with the direction of the movie being switched from the pub to this rivalry between Dalton and Wesley didn’t help at all.
I am ok with movies that have the plot going for them where the newcomer of a town arrives and is a big threat to the town’s millionaire from the start but this movie executed it pretty poor. Dalton only becomes a threat to Wesley when he refuses to work for him, and that’s it. When Dalton says ‘no’ Wesley begins a stupid vendetta out of nowhere. There wasn’t any sign of this coming it was just like, “insert rivalry here and let’s focus on this now”. The pub gets completely pushed out of the storyline and only serves as a confrontation point and nothing else.
The Actors:
The actors in the movie sucked. You have to see this movie to see how bad it was. It was just the typical bad acting from the 1980’s where people were acting like idiots trying to act if that makes any sense at all. I am not a big fan of Patrick Swayze at all. Yeah he was alright in Ghost and Dirty Dancin’ but that was pretty much all he has going. In this movie he’s bad acting really shines. I dunno what it is about him. Maybe it’s how he manages to maintain the same facial expressions no matter what mood he is meant to be in. What is sad is that it was pretty Swayze’s crappy acting that saved the movie from being completely terrible since everyone gave less than a quarter of a half-assed performance.
The Changes:
How the hell would I be able to change a movie about a man who is trying to turn around a scum-riddled pub? It’s a bad choice to have your movie based around this plot to begin with. I would worry about changing the storyline so that the rivalry between Dalton and Wesley made more sense but I wouldn’t know where to start to try and change this heap of crap.
Final Thoughts:
If a director came up to me and asked me to write up a script based on the same storyline I would straight up say no. I think this is the main problem I had with the movie, its terrible script. There is no way you can pull off a good movie based on someone turning around a crap pub then switch off the storyline to a rivalry between the bouncer and a millionaire. What is the damn storyline!? If you go with the first half as the real story than the second half makes no sense. If you go with the second half as the real story than the first half makes no sense. If you wanna go with a combination of both parts its going to confuse you.
What makes this movie even worse is that it had a cult following since it was so bad. I don’t get why people seem to enjoy watching bad movies and simply watch them because they are bad. If you’re wondering why I am reviewing bad movies it’s so that you people don’t have to. Through reading my reviews you will understand how terrible a movie is. I do not enjoy the majority of the movies that I watch and sometimes I wish that I did not watch them to begin with and this was one of the movies.
I HATE this movie, HATE IT! I can’t believe that there are people out there who actually liked this movie just for the fact that it sucked. I don’t care if it had bad actors like Swayze or if it was from the 80’s. There were a ton of better actors in the 80s and there were a LOT better movies that came out in the 80s as well. This movie is just crap, plain and simple. I would avoid this movie as much as I possibility can if I were you and saying that, I shall return Roadhouse back to the crappy Bucket that it came from.
Next week we’ll be taking a look at a movie called Bugs. No, it’s not that movie that was released last year about those two people trapped in a hotel room this is another crappy movie which happens to share the same name as that crap movie. Until next week I hope you all have a safe weekend and for all my fellow Australians, I hope you all have a safe and happy Australia Day!
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