Roadhouse 2 - Part 1
April 7th 2008 00:56
You know what's worse than a movie that was popular for being a bad film? A sequel that tries to be good.
Hello Bucket Heads around the world I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Welcome once again to another glorious review on a movie that is going to be plucked out fresh from the Bucket and presented to you all on a grimy silver platter. So what has been cooking in the kitchen this week? Well if you read the Final Thoughts section on Turbulence 3 last week you would know the answer.
About two months ago I watched a movie called “Roadhouse” and reviewed it on this website. (Note: this was done back in the day when I broke up my reviews into about six parts). Please save me the talk about this movie being a classic “cause it was bad man!” because I really hate when people say that. There is no way anyone can justify a movie for being good because it was bad and Roadhouse is a shining example.
Now even though Roadhouse may have been a good movie in a “bad way” for those fools who like this, (and if you’re reading this and I have offended you for liking this movie, shame on you for liking that heap of crap to begin with), I doubt the sequel to this movie would be considered good by the prequel’s fans. Roadhouse 2, probably slightly more terrible than the first, but at the end of the day both movies sucked. My review for the first has been up for quite some time so it is only fitting for its son to join the (dis)honorable guests of the Bucket.
Shall we begin?
Bucket Heads, meet Shane Tanner. He is the main character of this movie and just like that idiot James Dalton, he too was raised to be a bouncer... kinda.
Our movie begins with a wonderful opening shot of a swamp and there’s a big drug deal taking place between a bunch of people on boats. Meanwhile across town two hot smoking hot Daisy Duke clones get out of a car and step into a bar called “The Black Pelican.” An interesting name for a bar cause I’ve never seen a black pelican unless it was involved in an oil spill off some European shore. Anyway, judging from the swamp and the amount of hillbillies in this place we’re somewhere in the South of America. A fight takes place and the security removes the (black) man that started it up. The owner of the place, an old guy called Nate Tanner, begins talking to a statue of - you guessed it - a black pelican!
A bartender at the bar takes a phone call and hands it over to Nate. The dude on the end of the line wants to meet him down at the pier. We head over to the lovely city of New York and go to what has to be the most boring strip club in the world. The girls aren’t even swinging around the poles or dancing on the stage or doing anything that normal strippers… how do I know all of this? Well I… umm… Sopranos has a lot of strippers in the show… yeah that’s it. Anyway some dude sits down with a native Indian. They do a drug deal but alas it is a DEA sting operation! One of the strippers, a DEA Agent, takes the non-Indian guy away in handcuffs… and begins to give him a lap dance? Oh, the guy is DEA Agent Shane Tanner. They start making out but he ditches her and heads off somewhere.
Nate arrives at the pier and waiting for him is the local gang leader who goes by the name of, wait for it, Wild Bill. Yeah the originally of this movie is reeking of awesomeness. The black guy who was kicked out from the Black Pelican comes out with a gun, so Nate begins to kick the asses of everyone including Wild Bill. Out walks some hot Hispanic-Asian chick called Nadja and throws some knives at Nate, hitting him in the leg and arm. Wild Bill pulls out a gun and rants on how he hates the old guy for firing him years ago. Nate doesn’t go down without a fight, taking out the knives, cutting Wild Bill and diving into the swamp. They try shooting at him but Nate swims off.
Back in NYC Shane gets a call about his uncle being in hospital. He heads straight for his uncle’s home telling his boss nothing. The boss worries about Shane especially about his father who was murdered years ago. Back at the Black Pelican Wild Bill and his crew show up while everyone is raving to country music. Bill screws up the party for everyone, telling them they are going to buy the place out and to make things worse, they trash someone’s table! It’s ok though, one of the bouncers doesn’t give a crap about Nate hence why Bill can do what he wants. This is like the first movie where that rich asshole does whatever the hell he wants.
Shane is driving through the country and pulls over to help a lovely Southern Bell with her jeep. However it turns out that Beau, the girl’s name, doesn’t want any help changing a wheel. Wild Bill comes speeding down the road and almost hits Shane. See what did I tell you? This is just like the first movie. Shane helps Beau with her wheel and takes off. Shane visits his uncle Nate in the hospital as Bill begins to get more drugs and complains how his boss, a guy called Victor Cross, gets 80% of the profit while he only gets 20%. Bill tells his boys to push the drugs at Nate’s bar. Meanwhile at the hospital Shane speaks to the Sheriff, who shrugs off Nate’s attack as him being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shane doesn’t buy it and says he is going to take care of business from now on.
Beau, she's one Southern Bell you don't want to mess with. She knows everything from gun handling to kung fu.
Shane arrives at his uncle’s place and finds a bunch of photos, trophies and a punching bag. He has a flash back of him training as a kid with his uncle watching on. His uncle’s cat walks up to him before Shane walks outside and starts showing off his kung fu moves. Nighttime comes around and Shane heads to his uncle’s bar. He talks to the bouncers and they find out he is Dalton’s son. You heard the sound of a car coming to a screeching halt as well? Yes, Shane Tanner is the son of James Dalton from the first movie. The black guy (Marcus) is back and is bullying some skinny nerd. He tries to start a fight, but Shane kicks his ass just like his old man would only this time it’s with kung fu instead of a good old fashion fist fight.
Luther, the bouncer who is friends with Wild Bill, wants to kick Shane out, but the other bouncers tell him that he is Nate’s nephew. It turns out that Wild Bill has been pushing drugs for a while and that he wants to buy the place out because “it is a prime spot for drug transactions”. Shane meets Beau who tells him that she only goes to clubs just to stand around, not to drink. Why don’t you go stand at a bus stop or something then you moron. Shane follows her outside, asks for her name and she flips him off… wow what a bitch.
Shane talks to the staff after the bar closes for the night. He runs through pretty much the same damn rules as the first movie. Incase we all forgot them all they are: “Don’t underestimate people, take it outside and be nice.” Just like his old man though, Shane broke every single rule in the past two minutes of the movie. Shane tells everyone he is going to be running the show until his uncle gets better. Meanwhile Wild Bill is pissed off about the club and threatens to kill someone random person for calling them. He gets a call from his boss Mr. Cross, who tells Bill not to screw up the big shipment coming in soon. Bill gets more pissed off and tries to drown one of his goons in his spa.
Shane is at his bar and some lawyer shows up representing Bill. He offers $400,000 for the bar but Shane refuses to sell out. His two bouncers walk in, one of them acting like a robot saying “I’m automatic at kicking your ass.” I think they were trying to be funny here but all this did was make me want to hurl a brick at the TV. The lawyer calls them girls before walking out. Shane catches up with the Sheriff, who is stuffing his face with a hot dog, and finds out there are only three cops in town. Shane figures out Bill has everyone under his thumb so he calls in a favour from his DEA buddies.
Just like the rich guy from the first movie, local drug kingpin Wild Bill can do whatever the hell he wants, including having lesbians turn straight for him for one night.
Bill is having a threesome in his spa, yes you read that right, while everyone is playing pool. The lawyer comes by and wants to talk to Bill while he is enjoying his lady friends. Everyone is still talking about Shane and talk about what happened to his dad while the two girls in the spa start making out with each other. Good clean fun for the whole family! The next day Beau heads over to Shane’s house and enters without him knowing as Shane steps out of the shower in a towel with his loaded gun in his hand. No, I’m talking about his handgun not his “pistol” you sick freak.
Beau calls her cell phone number using his phone. He answers the phone still not knowing that she is in the house. He hangs up and gets ready to fire at the person in the next room, but it is just Beau stroking the pussy – Shane’s uncle’s cat, remember? He sneaks up on her so Beau turns around and kicks him right between the legs! Beau watches on as he gets dressed, while the Sheriff watches the two of them from a distance. Shane and Beau go to a diner and talk and one of Beau’s students walk up to her and says hi. Seems like Beau is a teacher and believe me I’d like to be her student! WOOF WOOF! Umm… anyway the two head back to Shane’s place on an airboat only to find the place completely trashed.
Bill talks to Shane over the phone and they agree to meet at the Black Pelican to talk about a deal. It’s a busy night and Bill shows up with his crew and a bunch of drug dealers, but unknown to them sitting in the floor above is a bunch of DEA Agents. Bill meets Shane and tells him that he thought he would be bigger, just like everyone said to Dalton in the first movie. Bill and his friends head to the kitchen and Luther secretly calls Bill, telling him about the setup. A big shoot out happens that spills out into the club. Bill takes a woman hostage and escapes via boat. DEA Agent Jim Moynihan talks to Shane and tells them they can’t do anything because the Sheriff is running the town. Wild Bill is fuming over the deal and to make matters worse, Victor Cross is coming into town. Meanwhile Shane finds out a few of the bouncers quit so he decides to close the place down for a couple of days. The pub’s singer comes up to Shane and tells him to watch his back…
Oh the suspense is killing me! What is going to happen to Dalton’s dear son Shane? What trouble is Victor Cross going to bring with him? How will Wild Bill get his revenge on Shane? Will Beau stop being a bitch? How many more references are we going to see and hear about the first movie? Am I the only person who cares about these things!? Let’s just move on to the next part shall we?
| 51 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
