Bucket Movies Presents: Over Her Dead Body!
April 12th 2009 22:54
Category: O
What happens when you die and you find out your old love is starting to get over the depression of losing you by going out with another woman? YOU GET MAD!!!
Something I really hate today is the lack of comedy in comedy movies. I’ve mentioned this before in previous posts but gone are the years where comedy movies would have you in stitches from laughing too much. Gone are the days where you can watch a comedy movie over and over again and still laugh at all the funny bits as if you were watching it the first time. Nowadays, comedy’s dead.
The biggest example of a really bad comedy movie would have to be (Insert Genre) Movie of course; a franchise that produces more movies than rabbits produces bunnies. Believe it or not there are a lot more comedy movies out there that are just as bad as these movies – and Over Her Dead Body is a perfect example of it. How bad was it? I felt like fast forwarding the movie and making up this review, that’s how bored I got with the movie.
But enough of me talking about how much is bored me due to its suckiness, let’s put on our hazard suits and take a closer look at this disaster.
If Ash was a psychic, she'd knew that this movie was going to suck more than Paris in a porno.
As the credits roll we’re treated to seeing people set up a wedding reception on an island. Kate is a bitch who is bossing everyone around while her fiancé Henry is a coward trying to tell her to chill out. An ice sculptor arrives with her wingless angel and Kate’s pissed off. The sculptor tells her that not all angel’s have wings – that’s the first time I heard it – and even Henry’s dumb bitch sister Chloe agrees. As the sculptor is backing off, Kate runs behind his car so he doesn’t flatten her flowers. He hits the break, and the ice statue kills her. Yup… death by ice statue. That’s going to go down well on your tombstone. Oh man, we can add in TONS of Mr. Freeze quotes… but I won’t because I’m trying to forget Batman & Robin as much as I can.
Kate wakes up in a white dress on a white bed in a white room. There’s an angel, without wings, in front of her and Kate starts getting bitchy about the wingless deal. Instead of telling Kate what to do to get into Heaven, the angel just leaves her and Kate disappears. If Heaven’s like that get me a one-way ticket to Hell. We go to Ashley, who is the world’s worst psychic. While she is trying to help someone find money, her idiot gay (homosexual gay not stupid moron gay) catering partner Dan is screwing up the cooking in her kitchen (Ashley works from home). The moron can’t do anything right, not even cut vegetables right.
Chloe arrives with Henry, who is still down about his dead fiancé a year after the event, and she wants Ashley to help her brother get over the death. Ashley sits Henry down and Henry tells her he doesn’t believe in this junk. They start the reading and Ashley sees a man in a blue suit, but Henry just screws around and plays along with it. Ashley tells Henry to relax and think about Kate. When he does the candles flicker higher and the power goes out. Dan stumbles around with the hot water pot. He lights up the gas and his sleeve catches on fire, so he puts it out in the pot full of hot water. He yells and starts flip flopping around on the slippery floor! This is comedy gold! Henry leaves because the movie sucks… I mean because he doesn’t want to waste his time.
Chloe is at Henry’s house talking to his parrot. He says Ashley was nice but nothing happened. Chloe’s annoyed at him. Dan is talking to Ashley while she is getting dressed about men just wanting to use her for sex. Henry’s at his job (he is a vet) and tells his dumb assistants to help him pick up a huge fat dog and put it on the table. Chloe’s inside his office and she’s managed to steal animal tranquilizers. Chloe tells Henry she found a date for him, while the idiots try and heave the fat dog onto the table. It’s not funny. Henry doesn’t want to date anyone ever again and Chloe’s sad. Chloe wants the icy pole sticks doctors put in people’s mouth because they’re big. Yeah… I’m sure she’ll be “sticking those in her mouth” know wha’ I’m sayin’!?
Chloe goes back to Ashley and asks for help. She wants her to go to Henry and “fake” saying she heard from Kate so he can move on. Ashley doesn’t want to but Chloe says please and gives her Kate’s diary. Henry’s shopping and Ashley’s shopping as well. They talk for a bit and they’re attracted to one another. Ashley starts “freaking out” and starts talking about when Kate and Henry first met. Kate was pissed off that Henry caught the same taxi she did, and left him to pay for the bill. If a random woman did that to me, why would I want a relationship with her?
Meet Chloe: a stupid eight year old moron trapped in the moronic body of a 20 year old woman. Trust me, she is more annoying to watch in a movie than look at in this picture.
Ashley and Henry go out for lunch and they start talking about cats. Henry thinks women who have them are freaks and Ashley laughs. This is odd since Chloe kept saying the guy is depressed yet he’s been joking around throughout the whole movie. Henry asks Ashley about Kate and Ashley asks him if he wants to try it again. She tries another reading in the restaurant but some asshole talking loudly on a mobile phone keeps interrupting them. They leave.
Ash talks to Dan and he wants her to stop lying to Henry because he thinks that she wants him. Henry goes over to Ashley’s place again and he gives her a gift. She gets a book of someone she doesn’t read because she had a book of the author there to make her look smart. Henry says he knows how Ash is doing the guessing, and he thinks she is seeing his reactions to facial expressions. He tries not to move and put on a robot face/voice so Ashley suggests they both turn around. She suggests go into separate rooms and she acts like robot Henry… Jesus is this movie going to get any better right now? They both decide to go out for dinner… and for someone who is “meant to be depressed about their dead fiancé” Henry seems to be completely over Kate.
They go out for burgers at a port, and Henry thinks Kate wants him to move on and Ashley agrees. Kate’s behind them saying Ashley’s screwed, and Ashley hears her thinking it was Henry. Kate walks through the streets through people getting pissed off. The ice sculptor who killed Kate is dead as well and he died in a drunk driving accident. He has unfinished business like her. Kate wants to know more and she figures out she has to protect Henry from Ashley.
Ashley goes home and Kate’s at the door. She says her friend’s dead and wants help. She calls herself Kaleen. Ashley wants her hands but Kate says she has a cold and coughs on them. Get it? Cause she is a ghost. Ashley tells Kate to focus and closes her eyes. Kate looks at her then shuts her eyes and begins giving Ashley crap about being a bad psychic. The problem is, Ashley has her eyes open and can see what Kate is doing. Kate’s voice goes demonic, saying she saw her drop meatballs and serve them, and that she saw her in the shower and what she did in there. Clean herself yeah? I mean what else do you do in a shower? Kate says she knows what she is trying to do to Henry and floats up in the air, threatening to kill her using a chipmunk voice. Kate “wakes up” and Ashley asks her to leave. She’s scared.
Henry talks to Chloe about Ashley contacting Kate. They are unpacking boxes. Henry goes to Ash’s place and Dan’s banging on the door. Henry tries to knock and Ashley shouts that she is sick. Henry calls her the next morning and keeps calling her. He drops off food at her door and keeps talking to her on the phone. Ashley’s getting upset. Chloe approaches Ashley and she’s upset that Ashley lead her brother on. Chloe gives her some photos and pictures and sees that Kate was the bitch ghost. Ashley calls her out and Kate appears. Ashley throws her keys to her and says catch, but it smashes the vase. Kate’s pissed off at Ashley and tells her that she was put back here to protect Henry. Ashley and Kate go to war! Ready for some hilarious antics!?
Kate floats in midair and threatens to kill Ash if she doesn't break up with her fiance - and that's the highlight of the war. Enjoy!
Ashley goes to Henry’s work and she says his food saved her. She says she is a lot better now. She asks him out for dinner and he agrees. Ashley walks off and a girl has a dog that has an itchy ass. At Ash’s place she comes back in a red dress. She freaks out when the phone goes off and the phone smashes. Dan was on the phone and was going to call the cops. She says she’s ok and was just freaked out. She says she is going to the gym. In a revealing red dress?
In the gym Ashley’s having a shower and cops arrive telling everyone to get out. Ash bails half naked in front of everyone and stumbles into the male gym. They all stop and look at her. Kate walks past and it was her all along! Ashley’s with Henry at the docks and they have a hotdog. Ashley sprays mustard on herself and Henry starts laughing and I’m glad someone found this to be funny. She turns it around to spray him but it spins and drenches her. Henry rubs his hot dog on her dress and eats it… wow that sounded bad didn’t it? Ashley’s wearing a bagging top and Henry jokes around with her for being a German tourist. Henry asks about Kate and Ashley wants to know if they’ve been going out for love or just so he knows about Kate. Henry wonders about the same thing, and they kiss.
They go back to Ashley’s place and kiss at her door. Ashley goes inside and she’s happy. She gets a knock at the door and Kate’s standing in front of there. She’s pissed off. Kate talking and an old woman walks past with her dog, it sniffs Kate. Ash mentions is and Kate wonders if she can use it against her. Ash talks to Dan and tells him that Kate’s ghost is coming after her. Dan’s more concerned about her screwing Henry. Ashley says she isn’t going to let Kate win. Ashley walks out of the apartment and screams when she sees Kate jump off the side of the building. Dan comes out, and Ashley says she is singing.
Ashley goes to see a priest and she tells him she has a ghost that needs to been removed. He comes to her place and brings her exorcism. He begins reading stuff and Kate thinks it’s all crap. She begins turning into ash and she is freaking out. She begins apologizing as her arms disappear. Soon her whole body vanishes. The priest tells Ashley she has to go to church now and she agrees. Ash turns around and Kate’s back. Kate says she’s going to tell Ashley about every pet she ever owned so she can’t sleep. Next morning Kate’s finishes naming all her pets, but the alarm clock goes off and Ashley didn’t sleep. Kate starts naming her favourite colours. Ashley gives up and says Kate wins. Ashley asks Kate if she wants to pass on any messages to Henry and Kate gets upset because of the nice offer from Ashley.
Ashley takes Kate to Henry’s place and she starts speaking to him through her. Ashley gets Henry to ask her questions to prove its right, and she says she wants Henry to be happy with Ashley. Kate’s pissed off and makes the parrot throw a seed in her eye. Ash keeps going and Kate keeps getting pissed off. Ash and Dan are at a reception for a wedding and she says that she is going away with Henry for a bit. Two people get married and Dan’s annoyed at Ashley. During the reception Ashley is pouring alcohol on cherries losing count. Kate walks past, imitating Dan’s voice, and gives her a fake number. Kate pours in more alcohol and wheels the cart to the bride and groom with Dan, who is bitching to Kate about going out with Henry. Ashley lights it up and a huge flame pops up. Ash’s all charred, like a cartoon character that just had dynamite explode in their face, and starts getting pissed off at Kate. Everyone sees her screaming at nothing.
Don't worry guys it's a movie, she's prefectly fine! It's also funny! See how funny it is!? WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING AT THIS!?
Henry and Ashley go away to a nice place and go to their hotel room. Ashley wants to ride a two person bike, but all Henry wants to do is screw, and so Ashley agrees with it. Ash goes to the bathroom and Henry starts farting for a minute straight. Fart jokes… you gotta love them. Ash thinks it’s disgusting. Ash is in front of the mirror, hears a knocking and Kate’s behind the mirror. She says it was funny and the two start arguing about her screwing him. Ashley and Henry start getting it on and Kate hovers over them as they do it. Kate starts heckling Ashley about being a bad kisser. Ashley gets Henry to talk dirty to her loudly but Kate keeps raising her voice. Ashley turns on the radio full blast while everyone can hear them. See what I mean by I wanted to just fast forward the movie?
Chloe meets up with Henry and Henry tells her he is dating her now. Chloe thinks it’s wrong and Henry doesn’t understand why. Chloe meets Ashley and she’s pissed off at her. Chloe gets Kate’s stuff back and she thinks Ashley is using him. Henry arrives and finds the diary. He flips through it and gets pissed off. He takes off and Chloe chases him. Ashley starts crying to Dan about everything and says she’s a bad person. Dan kisses Ashley and Dan lied about him being gay. He lied about cooking and stuff just to be with her. Ashley just assumed he was gay for the start because they didn’t do SHIT for a week!? Wow, what a lovely message to guys out there – treat the girl you like as if she were a slut so she knows you’re not gay. Dan gets all pissed off about pretending to be gay cause he wanted her.
Henry walks out of his office and Chloe has a stray cat to bring him. Chloe says she only gave the information to Ash so she can tell him to move on. Chloe’s cat isn’t hers; she stole her neighbours to speak to her brother. Henry gets pissed off at Chloe and tells her to start being stupid. Chloe drops the cat on the ground when she walks off. Ashley is walking back to her apartment and sees Henry. He tells her he read the whole dairy but none of the information she mentioned to him about Kate is in the book, and wants to know how she knows. Ash tells Henry about faking talking to Kate at the start, then says Kate appeared and got pissed off. Henry asks if Kate is around but Ash says no because they aren’t together again. Henry thanks Ash and walks off.
Henry’s in his apartment all bummed out while Ashley is at church. Henry tries to lift up the fat dog while Ash has a new catering assistant. The two are going out with other people who are stupid. Ash tries to read the book Henry gave her, and Henry’s all bored and upset and so is Kate. Dan’s at a café and Ash walks past him and ignores him. Dan apologises for lying and says he has to mean something to her if he pretended to be gay for five years. He says he loves her and wants another chance, and she gives him one.
Henry’s shopping and he is all sad, and Kate’s upset about it. The ice sculptor talks to Kate and he says he hasn’t finished his unfinished business yet. He says she hasn’t finished her business and he asks her what she really wants. Kate says she wants Henry to be happy, and she gets annoyed knowing what she has to do. The sculptor says his unfinished business is done because he had to make Kate do the right thing. Aww… how sweet, and stupid.
Kate finally realises that she can no longer be with Henry, since that's technically considered Necrophilia.
It’s been months since the Ashley and Kate broke up and Kate appears to Ashley. Ash says she hasn’t been with Henry since Kate broke them up, and Ash doesn’t want Henry because she has Dan now. Kate wants Ash to go out with Henry again and she says she doesn’t love Henry anymore. Ash is going to Vegas. Ashley thinks she is still screwing with her. Kate goes to Henry and starts shouting at Henry. The parrot starts talking to Henry to call Ashley, and Kate is talking to Henry through the parrot. Henry calls her and she gets the machine. Kate tells him to go to the airport and she tells him she’s going to Las Vegas. He takes the parrot with him. They get into a taxi.
They get to the airport. Henry sees Ashley but the security guard stops him and says he can’t get through without a ticket. He tells him to get in the back of the line. Henry buys a really cheap ticket to get through, and the parrot talks shit to the fat lady at the counter. Don’t worry the bad movie is almost finished Bucket Heads, bare with me! Dan’s with Ashley and Kate is with Henry. Henry doesn’t understand why Dan’s with Ash because he is gay. He says he isn’t a gay guy laughs at him. Ashley finally believes that Kate wants her to have Henry. Kate and Henry kiss and Dan’s pissed off. The gay guy tries to pick up Dan.
Dan and Kate’s wedding happens and Chloe is flirting with Dan. Dan kisses Chloe straight away and says he isn’t gay. Ashley comes out with her dad and Kate’s sitting in the back. Ashley talks to Kate and Kate says make him happy and Ash says she will. Ashley goes back down the aisle. Kate gets up as the vows take place. She walks outside, smiles and goes off to heaven. Ash and Henry come out afterwards in what has to be the world’s quickest wedding ceremony EVER! Kate goes to Heaven and the angel is back. The angel congratulates Kate on doing the right thing and asks her for the orbs of light she collected from loved ones? Kate doesn’t know what she means and gets pissed off, so the angel leaves.
And there you have it – just one of the thousands of bad comedy movies that have been produced in the past two years. If there’s something I’ve learn from this movie though it’s two things: as soon as you see a girl you want slip her the tongue so she doesn’t think you’re gay within the first twenty-four hours of talking to her, and I’d rather be in hell if the people in Heaven are assholes. Until my breakdown and final thoughts are posted, take it easy Bucket Heads!
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I thought this was supposed to be a site where you prevented us from watching bad movies. Wtf is going on with your reviews man? I feel like I've watched it ten times already. If you don't tidy your act up, I'm not reading your blog any more. I may as well go back to my ex and watch chick flicks with her and pretend I like them just to get my end in once a year.
Comment by Anonymous
And the lack of punctuation! god help us all. Thanks for wasting 5 minutes of my life!