Over Her Dead Body - Final Thoughts
April 18th 2009 00:25
To View The Full Synopsis Of This Movie, Click This Link!
Over Her Dead Body was a lackluster comedy with a lackluster cast. All of the jokes were outdated and were executed pretty badly. It wasn’t slapstick funny nor was it verbally funny. The money wasted on this movie could have been put to better use, such as being burnt. You’ve seen the synopsis so let’s put our aprons on as we give this piece of crap an autopsy.
The Breakdown.
We first get a look at Kate, who is a huge mega bitch played by the hot Eva Longoria Parker. I’ll say this right now – if Eva wasn’t in this movie this would have even worse. I’ll give her 100% of the credit for this movie not being THE worst comedy movie EVER! She plays a bitch good, but my problem at the start was the stupid discussion about how angels don’t have wings. Everyone knows an angel has wings, period. Not only that, but poor Kate gets crushed by the ice statue of the wingless angel. Stupid? Yes considering she just stood there staring at the thing as it wobbled! Even a person in a wheelchair would have had enough time to get the f*** out of the way!
Kate goes to Heaven and the angel doesn’t have any wings – again I still think this is stupid everyone has that “Touched By An Angel” crap in their heads about how they should look. By the way, that was a shit show too. “I’m an evil son of a bitch.” “But God loves you! ” “Oh shit this bitch is right. Time to change my ways! ” Hmmm… I could start doing Snipets on TV shows… where was I? Oh yeah. This angel is a huge mega bitch to Kate, who is freaking out and stuff, and just leaves her to figure out things on her own. It’s understandable that Kate would be panicking since she is DEAD after all! Seeing this, I’m starting to think Hell gives you a massive welcome party and stuff. At least they’ll have the decency to tell you that you’re going to experience an eternity of domination there.
So the storyline begins to unfold in that Henry’s depressed because of his dead fiancé Kate so his sister Chloe takes him to Ashley, who is a psychic that runs a catering company with a gay friend called Dan. Two things I got from this scene. Firstly, Jason Biggs should have just stopped acting after American Pie. The guy is a terrible actor and the only thing he can act as is an idiot teenage kid wanting to lose his virginity. His stupid scenes involving him getting burnt and slipping on wet floors were stupid. If they wanted to make this scene work, they should have used real boiling water. There’s nothing funnier than watching someone cry and roll around in pain. The second thing I learnt is that the storyline has plot holes. Henry is meant to be sad and depressed, yet he’s joking around and flirting with Ashley right off the bat! If he’s so depressed they should have made him a crying heap who wanted to kill himself, now THAT would have been entertaining.
Henry’s sister Chloe is a stupid bitch too, oh and the scene with Henry’s assistants trying to put a fat dog on a table is another failed attempt in some slap stick humour. Anyway, Chloe is trying to help Henry by giving Ashley tons of information about Kate to her. After twenty boring minutes or so of Ashley going out with Henry, who seems to be completely over Kate’s death now, we finally see Kate again. We find out that she thinks she has to protect Henry, but come on we ALL know ghosts who have loved ones still alive ALWAYS wants them to move on and be happy.
This is where the war between Kate and Ashley begins, and it isn’t even a “war” to begin with. Kate tricks Ashley a bunch of times, keeps her wake for a day with her stories and that’s it. There is nothing else besides stupid little pranks and the war is pretty much over in less than fifteen minutes. No they couldn’t have Kate make the walls bleed or have the toilet spit shit at Ashley while she was on the toilet, they just make Kate talk nonstop. The only reason why the war stops is due to Henry finding out about how his sister gave information to Ashley about Kate and gets pissed off about it. Kate didn’t have to do anything yet Ashley insists that she made them break up. Yeah, it’s not Kate’s fault you were using the information about her so you could have Henry, huh you stupid bitch?
After this we find out that Dan isn’t gay but only pretended to be gay so he could be close to Ashley. He only pretended to be gay from the start because Ashley just assumed he was gay because he never kissed her the first time he met her. The first time he met her, she assumed he was gay because he didn’t crack onto her. Think about that for a second? Apparently guys, girls think we’re gay if we don’t follow up a conversation with a kiss. You know what makes it more pathetic? I still don’t know why Dan didn’t just say:
“Umm, I’m not gay you stupid bitch. You’re the one who is the huge slut and thinks if a guy doesn’t f*** you after he bumps into you accidentally on the street that they’re automatically gay.”
It would have saved the audience from having to put up with this stupid part of the storyline which was completely random at this point. Well it’s ok because it turns out Dan should have just said it from the start because now Ashley is banging him. Kate’s now upset that Henry is depressed, and it appears he is more depressed about his break up with Ashley than what he was with Kate’s death. Kate decides she just wants Henry to be happy, (told you all ghost who have living lovers want them to be happy), so the movie becomes rushed in the last three minutes to make everyone live happily ever after… but Dan. Dan gets dumped by Ashley for Henry, so he settles for Chloe.
And after all that, Kate doesn’t get into Heaven still. Bitch angel didn’t tell Kate she had to collect orbs of light or something from people and just bails on her once more. Again, I’m pretty sure Hell treats all newcomers better than what Heaven does. That makes you wonder doesn’t it? Go to Heaven, you get shafted by a bitch. Go to Hell, and Satan’s baked you a pretty pink cake while he sings Eric Cartman’s “Best Friends” song. (Click here if you don’t know what it is).
Final Thoughts.
From start to finish this movie had nothing going for it. The comedy attempts were really bad – especially when they involved Jason Biggs. His slap-stick scenes sucked something fierce. It’s pretty sad to say that besides those stupid moments, there really wasn’t anything else funny that happened in the movie. If you love toilet humour though, then the minute long farting scene might make you chuckle. I used to like these when I was a kid, now I just think they’re stupid if they’ve been added in randomly.
The storyline was… interesting to say the least. At first we see Kate get killed and her fiancé Henry is being forced to move on by his annoying sister. Ashley is a psychic that’s meant to help with the situation and ends up dating Henry, to Kate’s disliking. They get involved in a war, but Kate realizes Henry should be happy and is better off with Ashley. Something that didn’t sit well with me was that it looked like Ashley was just dating Henry in spite of Kate’s hatred of her. It didn’t look like she loved the guy at all and only started getting involved with him again after Kate told her to back off. I think the potential for a good movie was in this but it was executed badly.
And let’s look back at the war again shall we? Like I mentioned previously, there wasn’t ANYTHING major that happened at all. Kate scares Ashley and tricks her, and Ashley tries to get Kate removed by a priest. Big deal! Kate should have possessed people, or possessed items in Ashley’s house and haunted her or made animals attack Ashley. The last one I thought was going to be used when Kate discovered she could interact with them. I probably would have laughed if Kate ordered a flock of birds shower Ashley in birdshit.
I said this at the start but had Eva Longoria Parker not been in this movie, it could have been a lot worse. Eva put in a decent amount of effort into making Kate a bitch. It would have been better though if she was even more scenes in the film. Being the dead fiancé of a main character I would have thought she would be involved a lot more than what she was. She was in about half of the movie, popping up at the start for about two minutes before reappearing more than half way through again to “start a war”. It hurt the movie not having more focus on Kate and putting it on the lame characters of Ashley and Henry – and the actors who played them were lame as well.
I wouldn’t recommend watching this movie if you’re into the whole romantic-comedy thing since this wasn’t even a romantic movie. It was more like a comedy trying to play itself off as somewhat of a romance but failed to impress. The only time I would suggest watching this movie is if it’s been aired on TV – free TV – and you’re in the middle of getting drunk or doing work around the house… or both. Actually just get drunk while trying to do house work you’d probably have a lot more fun than watching this movie. Eva saves it this movie from being a complete shipwreck, but she barely keeps this afloat.
That’s all I have to say about Over Her Dead Body and the only time I’ll watch this movie again is over MY dead body! Don’t worry I’ll punch myself in the face for you for that bad joke but come on, it was a funnier joke than the movie itself right? Yeah I guess not. Well, let’s just forget the joke and the movie all together ok? Great! See you all next time for my next review and until then, be well Bucket Heads!
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