My Super Ex-Girlfriend - Final Thoughts
January 23rd 2009 02:56
If Uma Thurman couldn’t play a super villain, what made people think that she was going to make a good superhero? When I saw the previews for My Super Ex-Girlfriend I knew that I was going to end up reviewing this trash one day and here I am, giving my Final Thoughts on it. So what did I hate about this movie so much that it makes me dislike Uma Thurman that much more? Let’s find out!
Haven’t I seen these characters before?
You know what really annoyed me most in the movie? All the characters in this movie somehow reflected the characters all the actors in this movie have played before. I mean look at it:
Uma Thurman: Playing a character badly outside a Tarantino movie.
Luke Wilson: Plays the moron stuck in the middle with something. Also tries to be too much like his brother, who is also a bad actor.
Anna Faria: Well known for playing Cindy in the Scary Movie films. Cindy, like Hannah, is a clueless bimbo.
Rainn Wilson: Always plays a nerd.
Wanda Sykes: Always plays a fast-mouthed black woman with attitude.
Do I need to go on? It was like they grabbed random characters from movies and threw them all together for this. It made the movie look unoriginal by having them recycle characters. It doesn’t really matter now since everyone did their warn-out job and no one can go back and change it. If they played other roles in the movie it might have been ok though I doubt it – they’re so used to playing a certain type of character for so long they wouldn’t be able to do anything else good.
Squashed script.
When the movie started up it was going at a steady pace. We had our normal guy going out with a super heroine with weird things happening to him in the first half of the movie. In the second half Jenny reveals herself as G-Girl to Matt she turns out to be psychotic Matt dumps her Jenny gets her revenge Matt falls of Hannah Jenny’s more pissed off Matt makes a pact with G-Girls nemesis G-Girl loses her powers then gets them back but so does Hannah and then, everything is all good. Run out of breath trying to say all of that? That’s how the movie ended up.
They did a good job building up the first half of the movie but after that the movie spiraled out of control. They rushed it so much I don’t think it was needed. Had it be paced a little at the end I probably wouldn’t be complaining about the movie as much. It would have sucked still none-the-less with its bad “comedy” scenes and bad acting from its cast. I’m actually surprised they didn’t reveal Jenny as G-Girl to Matt after the first date. That could have saved me thirty minutes from watching this crap!
Heat seeking shark missiles!
When I saw the shark being thrown through the window, I thought it sucked. When I saw the shark actually CHASE Matt, I punched myself in the face out of spite. Give me a f***ing break here I know the movie is a comedy and anything can happen in a superhero movie, but Jesus I’ve seen a lot of Superhero movies and I’ve NEVER seen anything like THAT before.
To start things off the shark itself was badly animated but hey, it’s a comedy right? Things aren’t meant to look good. Secondly the shark chases Matt around the apartment like a lion chasing a gazelle. It looked terrible! Why didn’t it just turn and bite Hannah’s head off instead? The scene was so bad I doubt anyone found it funny. They probably would have just punched themselves in the face like I did to try and make it look funny.
She’s a superhero?
You know for a superhero G-Girl is completely insane. I didn’t know that “bitch” came with her superpowers, or psychotic behaviour. She’s probably the worst superhero out there! Sure you can make the argument that Hancock was a reckless pig, but Hancock WAS a reckless pig who didn’t give a crap about what he did. He didn’t make an oath or anything like all the other Superheroes to keep saving people he just did it if he was around!
G-Girl is constantly helping everyone. The minute someone breaks up with her she snaps and turns into a bitch. She was so psychotic that I wouldn’t want to be saved by her incase she rips my head off. She didn’t even want to save NYC when a missile was going to level it out! She didn’t want to because she “was on a date” but if the city was destroyed there does her date. The stupid bitch should have thought about that a bit more. By the way I don’t know what the “G” stands for in G-Girl since they never explained it so don’t ask.
Uma Thurman Superheroes = Bad Movie.
I said it before and I’ll say it again – whose bright idea was it to cast Uma Thurman as a Superhero? When she played Poison Ivy she was terrible! She was too fake in the movie! In this film the same crappy, fake acting came out and since she was the main character of the movie it brought it down completely. When she tries to be funny Uma just comes off as annoying and painful.
For example, there’s a scene in the movie when Jenny is ranting on about why G-Girl was acting crazy and pissed off. When I was watching it I couldn’t help but think about to some of the rants Poison Ivy did in Batman & Robin. They were too mono and flat. I haven’t seen anything good from Uma unless it’s from a Tarantino movie. She should just stick to his films, at least he can make her look decent in them.
Final Thoughts.
The movie was unfunny from the very start. It had the potential to be something good but in the end, My Super Ex-Girlfriend was just a rushed botch of a movie. We had a cast of actors who can only play their stereotypical roles that they always play in most of the movies they appear. To make matters worse, the main character of G-Girl was played by someone whose last good movie was Kill Bill. Had Uma started butchering dozens of people with katanas this movie probably would be cooler but it wasn’t. Combine the bad acting and the unfunny jokes with a rushed script and you get a very tangled up movie that crashes and burns.
My Super Ex-Girlfriends gets to make its super reentry back into the bucket along with the other terrible superhero movies out there. Until my next review have a safe weekend Bucket Heads!
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Comment by Damo
It must be a really good edit job.