KvC Komodo vs. Cobra: Five Things I Hate About It.
February 22nd 2008 22:14
#5: Smells like Jurassic Park.
I complained about this about the first movie and I get to complain about it again in this one. This movie just screamed “JURASSIC PARK CLONE WANNABE!!!” and it really pissed me off. The most obvious thing was the ‘Don’t move it won’t see you’ thing that was used on the Komodo. If you remember, Dr. Grant said the same thing about the T-Rex. Of course, people in both movies didn’t listen but it amazed me how many people didn’t listen in KVC. I think every time someone said, “Don’t move” one of the idiots ran off screaming. Stupid stupid idiots not listening to life-saving advise.
#4: Censorship monkey.
#3: Recycling actors.
The huge boobed actress and the jock moron actor from the first movie appeared in this movie. Now some of you might not have a problem with actors or actresses reappearing in a sequel to a movie when they were in the first. My problem is that they played different character from the first movie which made is confusing for me at the start. In my opinion you should never reuse an actor or actress from a previous movie you’ve used them in to fill in another role.
Had I not seen the first movie I would not know about the two actors. I assumed that the huge boobed actress, who played the daughter of one of the scientists in the first movie, had come back to assist the hippy group but she was instead playing a completely different character here. Never, ever, recycle actors your movie franchises and have them play different characters. It just adds to the confusion to those who have seen them play a different character prequel before.
#2: “These are not monsters created by a Hollywood effects wizard.”
How did I laugh when the news reporter said this during her recording. Maybe the writer of this movie thought it would be funny to add this in to reflect on how extremely terrible these special effects were. You would have thought the director learnt from the first movie on how to improve the creatures but I think they got a bit worse. I’ve seen poorly made nature documentaries that used better effects than this heap of crap.
You know what else was funny? The bombing scene when the army started to nuke the island. Normally movie use explosion on the set and film it. It was so damn obvious that for this movie they just used video footage of explosion that happened else where. Oh so cheap and so bad was the outcome. At least it was better than those little crappy fireballs they used in the first movie that they used for explosions.
#1: Isn’t this movie the same as the first movie?
I told you all that this movie was going to sound similar to the first one and I hope you realized the similarities. Well… what the hell am I talking about being ‘similar’ to the first it was the DAMN SAME MOVIE but with a COBRA in the mix. Here are some things that were the same in both movies:
Father/daughter scientist team.
Scientist team experimenting with genetically modified food but instead got mutated reptiles.
Army search team gets butchered by the giant komodo.
The bullet clips for the guns seem to contain 1000 bullets.
One of the group’s members was a form navy pilot.
Army General wants to destroy the island but the Major wants to save the people.
Dying group member scarifies himself to save the other.
The group ventures through the island to find a helicopter.
The General finds out about the group’s escape through the news.
Scientist team experimenting with genetically modified food but instead got mutated reptiles.
Army search team gets butchered by the giant komodo.
The bullet clips for the guns seem to contain 1000 bullets.
One of the group’s members was a form navy pilot.
Army General wants to destroy the island but the Major wants to save the people.
Dying group member scarifies himself to save the other.
The group ventures through the island to find a helicopter.
The General finds out about the group’s escape through the news.
There’s a ton more things about the movie that is the same to the first. It was so annoying that I know what I was going to be expecting that it made the movie less enjoyable and stretched it out even longer. A sequel normally involves the same characters and similar storyline elements to link it to the first, but this movie just crossed out the name of the title, wrote ‘KvC: Komodo vs. Cobra’ above it and slapped on the worst animated snake that I’ve every seen.
Final Thoughts.
This movie sucked, plain and simple. If you want a bigger picture of how bad this was I would say use a thesaurus on ‘terrible’. You will find that there are still not enough words to describe how bad this movie was. In fact, I’m going to just stick with SHIT. This movie was SHIT, it wasn’t crap, it was SHIT.
Do you know what I found out about this movie to make it more SHIT? Apparently the director said that this was a remake of Curse of the Komodo but he added in some more fresh ideas to make it better. Firstly, why the hell would you remake something when the movie only came out about three years ago? Secondly, adding in a cobra to the movie didn’t add anything to it.
Here’s something else that annoyed me that I didn’t add in to the top five, the movie was called KVC: Komodo vs. Cobra. At the end of the movie we see a crappy two minute fight between the two that was so boring I’d rather go watch paint dry on growing grass. A huge letdown to what should have been the climax of the movie. Since this was the climax it pretty much reflected on how SHIT the movie is.
In my opinion, the director was offered a nice sum of money to make a new movie. Since this guy, Jim Wynorski, has made porn movies, he probably didn’t have any fresh material on him so he just decided to recycle his old crap movie into this heap steaming pile of SHIT. Whether it was a sequel or a remake or a prequel it sucked. This was just one huge recycled piece of crap that shouldn’t have even been released on DVD.
KVC: Komodo vs. Cobra will now sink to the bottom of the bucket never to be touched again. Next week I am going to be looking at a movie which is the third in the series. What is the name of this movie series you’re wondering? Final Destination. We’re gonna have a lot of fun during this movie cause I got a good laugh out of its badness.
Take care my Bucket Heads and I will see you all next week. Enjoy your weekend!
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