I Am Legend – Final Thoughts
January 8th 2009 23:06
Category: I
Whose bright idea was it to make a movie about a man running around a deserted city for two hours? Whoever did it worked and they made a crap load of money for it. I should take note in how to make a mass amount of people gullible to think that ideas like this are awesome and entertaining. I Am Legend was basically two hours of watching Will Smith run around being attacked by badly animated zombies. So what made this movie suck so bad? Here are my Final Thoughts.
He’s immune to the virus how exactly?
This really pissed me off. Throughout the movie Robert ran around bragging about him being immune to the virus that had destroyed humanity. The thing is, how the HELL he was immune to it I have no idea. This fact was completely left out of the movie and it hurt it a lot. How hard is it to explain how Robert was immune to the virus? They could have made him say “Everyone who worked on this project had vaccine shots cause we knew this shit would happen” or “I saved a magic fish from the jaws of a shark and he made me immortal” would have been great! At least I would have known how the hell he was immune!
Robert Neville likes to run a lot.
The only thing I knew about Robert is that he enjoys running around the city a lot, and that he is a pussy. What’s the big problem with this? I don’t have a problem knowing a few things about minor characters, but I do have a problem knowing a few things about a major character. Since Robert was the main character of this story it wouldn’t have hurt giving the audience more detail about his life before this virus broke out. They could have had more flashbacks of him working on the disease or something instead of just showing us his family getting evacuated. It sure would have been better seeing Robert’s past life instead of wasting time having Will Smith working out semi-naked.
Those are zombies?
When I first saw those zombies on the big screen I almost punched the person sitting next to me in the cinema but I didn’t – it was my father. I have never seen anything more pathetic than the animated “zombies” in that movie. Wait that’s right they are “Dark Seekers” I’m sorry I forgot. Whatever they were they were terrible. It would have been a lot better if they just hired an awesome make up team and turned normal people into freaky looking zombies or something. Oh that’s right! The director HAD normal actors in make-up but decided to scrap it because “they weren’t convincing”. Yeah, nice work buddy you REALLY did an awesome with your CGI choice.
Want to see some awesome zombies? Go watch the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Best zombies, ever. You look at them and you shit yourself because they look so f***ing real. You look at these zombies in I Am Legend and you think “The zombies from the Dawn of the Dead remake look better”.
That makes no sense at all!
Robert watches television. To use the television you need electricity. Electricity comes from those big power stations that many people manage. How does Robert still have power after three years of everyone being dead!? So he might have a generator. Ok, he’ll need fuel for that just he uses fuel for his cars. How is he getting the fuel!? How do the petrol stations keep getting filled up!? Did they not think about these things?
He has all that food that would probably have gone off by now as well! Maybe not the canned foods but come on – bacon would have gone off by now! And the eggs too! You know what’s funny about the supplies he gets from apartments that he savages? He’s only been to like four places after three years. How do I know this? He pulls out a map and marks off where he has been and he’s only checked like four buildings in the past three years.
Here’s another one: zombies can’t track a human if they kill the smell with some chemicals. Wouldn’t zombies seeing Robert drive around all day give it away? Wouldn’t the smell of him be around since he basically travels ALL OVER THE CITY!? And wouldn’t it be obvious that Robert’s house is the ONLY house in the city that seems to be heavily armored up with lights and everything? Maybe the chemicals Robert cause brain damage to the zombies. Yeah that has to be it.
The ending sucked, and so did the alternate.
It doesn’t matter which ending you go with they both sucked. The first one Robert kills himself to save his vaccine. Why didn’t he just go with Anna and get the HELL out of the city? He could have thrown the grenade and quickly hide he had enough time to do it. The second ending was your typical Hollywood bullcrap where they all live happily ever after.
Don’t get me started with the “butterfly” crap. In the second ending the Alpha Male smears a butterfly on the window, and his zombie girlfriend has a butterfly tattoo on her neck. Robert remembers his daughter talking about butterflies, and I sit here wondering if this is I Am Legend or The Matrix. You know what would have been an even worse ending? Robert wakes up the day before the cure for cancer is found three years ago. Yup, that would have SUCKED!!!
Read the book, it’s way better.
I Am Legend is based off a novel written in 1954 by Richard Matheson. The book is WAY different to the movie and from what I know about the book – it’s awesome. The book talks about Robert Neville’s life before the virus outbreak, and then goes into his life now. Everything’s screwed up for him, even his best friend’s a vampire out to kill him. And yeah, it’s a vampire virus not a shitty zombie virus. In the end, well I won’t spoil it for you but I can tell you the ending seems way better than any of the other endings. If they stuck more to this book I think the movie could have been way better.
Final Thoughts.
Will Smith, as overrated as he is (though he has had some good movies in the past), managed to save this movie from being a complete disaster. Yes, it was just a two hour movie about him but at least he acted decently. Other than that the movie was nothing but a drag. If they added in some more background on Robert’s life and added a few more interesting pieces here and there I think the movie would have been a lot better. Instead all we got to see was a man running around for hours and a bunch of badly animated zombies.
So there you have it Bucket Heads. I Am Legend is going back into the Bucket where Robert Neville can swim around as much as he runs around NYC for hours. That’s my Final Thoughts on I Am Legend. I shall see you all h ere next week for another fun-filled review. Take it easy Bucket Heads and enjoy your weekend!
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Comment by Damo
The script was better and had fewer holes. We know why he was immune, where he gets his power and his fuel. It start with him stealing cars, watching Woodstock movies and machine gunning down the crazy fellows.
Not zombies but fanatical infected luddites that want to purge him.
Apart from having an over groovy look to it you had much better and entertaining movie.
Comment by Wayne F
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Comment by Kevin 5
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its not as if Hollywood's out to please critics, they're out to make money...
And i think Robert's just immune cause of his genetic makeup... same theory as natural selection... and how insects get 'immune' to pesticides etc...
And this line was great "...person sitting next to me in the cinema but I didn’t – it was my father..."
Rock on Bucket!
Comment by Wayne F
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I'm glad you enjoyed that line as well
Comment by Kro
He has all the gasoline in New York City to himself, it's not hard to siphon gas out of cars or hit up one of the hundreds of gas stations and pull gas from the tanks there. Don't tell me you really think one man would be able to use up all the gasoline in New York city in just 3 years.
His immunity is self explanitory, just like for some reason some people have allergies while others don't and how some people die from a sickness while others are barely affected.
If you pay attention to the little things then you can learn a lot about Neville, but it seems like you were too busy trying to find the imperfections in the CGI.
What doesn't make sense about the food? The eggs were powdered! The Bacon was frozen! What map were you looking at? The one I saw had over 20 different areas marked. Just cause you can't count past 4 doesn't mean that's the number of buildings he's checked out. So what if the dark seekers know there is a regular human that's been in their area? That doesn't mean they see him running around during the day when they are resting plus even if they did see him during the day, they can't do anything about it since they are allergic to UV light. He used a car to get around, not even a dog can track the scent of someone traveling in a car. The dark seekers weren't exactly genius's, most of them were animalistic, that's like saying a lion should know Nevel lives in the house cause it is armored.
As for the ending, your argument makes no sense. Lets see if you were Neville you would risk saving the human race from extinction to save yourself without considering all the thing that could go wrong with your toss the grenade and jump in the hole plan. What if the grenade doesn't go off then you have a bunch of angry dark seekers who will rip that door off to get to you where as if you stayed out there and the grenade didn't go off they would atleast kill you and most likely forget about the other two people. What if the grenade goes off before you can get securly into the hole and shut the door, you just killed any chance of getting the vaccine to the surviors.
If the movie had more background stuff on Neville it would have been boring, sometimes it's better to hope your audience if smart enough to figure things out without having to spell everything out for them. Guess that's why you are giving uneducated shitty reviews and not making movies.
Comment by Wayne F
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You're a fucking moron. That's all I have to say. Have a nice day.