Home Alone 3 – Final Thoughts
May 9th 2008 02:11
Alright Bucket Heads it’s that time of the week – time for us to hammer in the final nail of the coffin so we can forget about this movie once and for all. Well… you would forget about this movie if it wasn’t in the archive for you to go look back on months from now or so. Let’s get cracking and put this bad movie back into the Bucket!
The Loathes:
The main problem I had with this movie was the fact that this was nothing more than a clone of the original movie – with different characters. Now you’re probably wondering what the hell I mean by this since it IS a follow-up movie. Home Alone is meant to be about a brat named Kevin McAllister who is forgotten about by his parents and stays at home / in a hotel room. He has to deal with some criminals who want to rob his place / get revenge on him for beating them years before. He cleverly outbids the bad guys, gets united with his family and lives happily ever after.
Home Alone 3 was about some annoying brat who is too smart for his own good trying to prevent some terrorists from getting into his house to steal a missile chip he has in his toy car. It sounds more like a James Bond film than something that should be aimed for kids. I don’t even know why they had such a stupid storyline running for it – criminals breaking into empty houses during Christmas worked fine for the first movie.
So what about these clone characters? We have an annoying brat, his red-haired mother, his calm father, his bullying siblings, a pet, a smart criminal, a few stupid criminals and some old grumpy woman who hates everyone but warms up in the end because the kid helps her. It’s the same recycled rubbished from the first two movies! If they were going to go with a third movie, why didn’t they just have the same characters as before? We probably would have been sick of the same running storyline. Hell, it would have been more enjoyable than this pile of puke they vomited up!
If Peter and his men are meant to be some type of elite terrorist group how would they be foiled by such a young kid? I really hate seeing this in any movie – a little boy managing to beat the odds and defeat the smarter, adult enemies. If they were so smart why didn’t they just shoot the kid in the head? Wait, these are meant to be PG-13 dangerous terrorists my bad. They should have just stuck to criminals robbing houses - it would have made a lot more sense.
I don’t know why they even bothered to call this movie “Home Alone”. In the other two movies Kevin was forgotten by his parents and left alone in his house in the first movie, and accidentally boarded a plane to NYC in the second. In this movie Alex was just left alone for a few hours while his money-hungry parents went out to work. It’s good to see that parents care more about their jobs than what they do about their children’s health. They should have just renamed this movie “Left Alone at Home for a few Hours” since the movie was pretty much that.
The Likes:
The parrot was cool because I like parrots and they are funny. Umm… yeah that was it sadly. Everything about this movie saved but the bird.
The Plot / Script:
Alex is given a car that contains a missile chip inside of it. Peter and his team of terrorists are searching all the houses in Alex’s street until they find what they are looking for. It is up to Alex, his pet rat, and Alex’s whacky inventions to stop the villains and to save the day.
It doesn’t sound like a plot from the first two movies huh? Like I said before this plot seemed too screwed up to be a children’s movie. When we watch kid’s movies we want to be taken away by all of the horrors of the real world – not get them thrown back into our faces with little children watching on. How many kids began to panic about having terrorists storm into their houses with guns?
The script sucked too well, I shouldn’t really say that since it was the same script from the first two movies as well. Everyone may have had their names changed but pretty much the dialogue was used for all the appropriate characters. As much as the plot about the terrorists added to the darker element of this movie, I think it was brighter and more childish than the first two. Whenever one of the criminals was stopped by one of those stupid kiddy traps I couldn’t help but think how stupid this movie was.
The Actors:
The parrot was a better actor than the others, seriously. Everyone in this movie sucked and it’s funny since the young girl who played was Scarlett Johansson – and she still sucks. In fact the only movie she doesn’t suck in that I’ve seen was The Prestige. It is funny how the majority of these people – well actually ALL of them – went on to do nothing with their careers but Ms. Jonahsson.
You know what is really funny? The guy who played Peter is an actor called Olek Krupa. Now many of you probably won’t know who he is but for those Oz fans out there, he played Yuri Kosygin for a whole two episodes. Here’s a link with Olek in action as the dangerous Yuri and then think – how awesome would it be if Peter was just like Yuri in Home Alone 3? I’m sure everyone in that film would be riddled with bullets and would make a great movie!
Final Thoughts:
Compared to the other two movies – this movie sucked, period. It took everything that made Home Alone 1 and 2 awesome, recycled it with a bunch of childish crap and made it totally unfunny, even by family movie standards. I remember watching this when I was a kid and I thought “Wow this isn’t funny at all”. When I watched this a few weeks ago as an adult I thought “WOW THIS ISN’T FUNNY AT ALL!!!” It really annoys me when a studio decides to water down a popular movie and produces a bunch of crap that follows.
Apparently a fourth Home Alone movie was made – and it has the characters from the first two movies in it. Don’t get excited people because they aren’t the same actors and for some reason – Kevin McAllister is six years old again and is defending his “high tech smart house” from the bad guys. If I get a hold of this movie you’ll be seeing it here ready for the slaughter.
Same plot, same types of characters, same traps used in the house to foil the bad guys – you can see how much this movie was trying to be like the others. There was nothing special about Home Alone 3 like I said it was a popular movie a studio tried to water down and make some money off of. Unfunny to adults, unfunny to kids – don’t see this movie if you are a big fan of the first two. In fact just don’t even see this movie if you’re looking for a family comedy to rent for your children – go back and find the first Home Alone since it was the best of the series.
And so Bucket Heads that is all I shall write for this disaster. Our memories of a Macaulay Culkin slapping his face and screaming into the mirror have been tarnished by this terrible movie. It brings me great joy to throw this movie back into the Bucket where it will rest with the other bad follow-ups. Take care and enjoy your weekend!
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