Gladiatress – Final Thoughts
January 15th 2009 20:41
I said it was a worse comedy movie than Epic Movie and I stick with that statement… until I see Disaster Movie. Being a British film I thought Gladiatress would be a little bit decent but I’ve never seen a British movie so unfunny in my life. If the cast from Monty Python were all dead, they’d be rolling in their graves now. I bet Benny Hill would be rolling in his grave as well after finding out how bad the British comedy world had been tainted by this awful movie. Here are my Final Thoughts.
Fear the Celtic Kick!
The one thing that I really hate in movies is the way a certain thing is hyped up only to be a massive disappointment. The best example of this can be seen in Gladiatress. In the movie, the “Celtic Kick” is constantly mentioned numerous times. If I were to estimate for you all, I’d probably say one thousand. When it finally came time for this Celtic Kick I was hoping for something cool, and for something to at least carry this movie. Instead I got to see a stupid Riverdance followed up by a headbutt. Get it? See they did a headbutt instead of a kick because you’ll be expecting them to kick you and not headbutt you! That’s ingenious! Unfortunately it didn’t pay off and I was made more furious.
If the movie is meant to be about gladiators, shouldn’t there be gladiators?
There was nothing at all in this movie that spoofed the movie. They should have just said it was a comedy set in a time when Rome was planning to invade Britain. They probably threw in the “Gladiator spoof” part so they would have a chance of at least drawing ten people into the cinema who might find it funny.
Could this movie be anymore unfunny?
I thought Epic Movie was unfunny but sweet Jesus, Gladiatress made Epic Movie look like Ace Ventura. I don’t even know where to begin with the terrible jokes they used! Let’s see they stereotyped every single nationality badly, the names of the characters were terrible and the fart jokes, oh the farts jokes! I wondered if a five year old wrote this heap of crap I mean seriously who adds more than two scenes were people are constantly farting in a movie? The only way to see how unfunny this movie was is to watch it for yourself, and yes I encourage you to try and find this piece of crap and see how bad it is first hand. It’s about time you Bucket Heads suffer as much as I do!
This is what British comedy has come to?
It’s disgusting to think that is this is the best that the British world has to offer us now. This is the same place that gave us Monty Python. This is the same place that gave us classics like the Benny Hill Show, Are You Being Served?, Fawlty Towers, and Sooty! Here’s the thing: the three actresses who played the three sisters in this movie wrote and starred in their own sketch show called Smack the Pony. Apparently this show was meant to be “funny”. I can see how “funny” it must have been if it was anything like this disaster.
If I were British I would be insulted beyond imagination at how this movie lowered the standard of British comedy. It wasn’t funny at all. Neither one of those sisters could act especially the one who played Worthaboutapig. She was terrible! If these women were so funny in their show shouldn’t they have tried to work around the bad script and give the viewers something to at least smile at? Eh, I guess money talks.
Final Thoughts.
Until I see how bad Disaster Movie is, I am going to say that Gladiatress is without a doubt the unfunniest movie that I have ever seen. The only thing good about this movie were the costumes, only for the fact that they used the same costumes from Gladiator – the same movie they were intending on “spoof”. It’s not nice to lie to people saying this is going to be a spoof of a movie when in reality it is just something completely different.
If Gladiatress stuck to the same plot or had taken elements from Gladiator then yes, this would be a considered a spoof. It would have been terrible still but at least it would have been a real spoof movie. Bad jokes that could only make a four year old laugh and bad actors that couldn’t carry the movie leads to one very annoyed Mr. Bucket Head.
There you have it another bad comedy put to rest. It is best for all of us, especially if you’re British, to forget about this horrible movie. I would advise you only watch this to see how bad it is for yourself. If you do good luck and I would suggest you watch this with a bottle of Vodka, or two. It will make the time go by quicker. Trust me, this movie felt like it went for two hours.
Until my next review take care Bucket Heads and enjoy your weekend!
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