The Bucket Presents: Get Rich or Die Tryin'
May 19th 2008 00:13
Category: G
The story about a young kid growing up selling drugs to becoming a successful gangster rapper - a great inspiration for all children out there!
Let me make it completely clear to everyone reading this right now – I do NOT like 50 Cent. I cannot stand the guy, period. I hate his music, I hate the guy’s attitude and I hate the fact he only became famous because someone who is extremely popular said they liked his music. He might have been successful in the past but now he’s pretty much a memory. Yeah you can still hear some of his song in clubs or on the radio today but it’s rare – hell the guy isn’t even in entertainment news anymore.
Now for someone who was just suddenly thrown into the spotlight over night, someone decided it was a good idea to make a movie about the guy’s life. This guy does not deserve to have a movie based around his life. Movie like Ali and Ray are based on the lives of people who shook the world for whatever reason. They made their mark in the world and they were honored about a movie about their life – 50 hasn’t done anything unique at ALL. I’m not a fan of rap but I think a movie about Tupac would probably have been a better choice.
Straight away I bet you, my precious Bucket Heads, are going to think that I dropped this movie into the Bucket because I hated it. The fact is I watched this movie as if I was watching a movie and well… it was not a good movie. After watching it I thought back to how this was meant to be based upon 50’s life and well… I hate the guy even more for the way he was portrayed. Without further delay, allow me to present to you the train wreck of a movie based on the life of 50 Cent: Get Rich or Die Tryin’.
Young Marcus - Destined to grow up to be a gangstah rappah!
The movie starts off with a crappy 50 Cent song being played as 50 – playing the character Marcus in this movie - and his posse ride around with a Hispanic kid. They load their guns up, arrive at a cash store and use the kid as bait to raid the place. One of Marcus’ crew is acting all psycho and shoots an innocent guy in the leg. Marcus tells him to chill out and the guy gets pissed off at Marcus, mainly for the reason he called him a n*****. Yes that’s right – it’s the first time I’ve seen a black person get pissed off at another black person for calling them a n*****. Anyway Marcus calms him down, and winks at the little boy – because apparently 50 is a nice guy and makes sure nobody gets hurt or scared.
People hiding in the back of the store run out with shotguns so they throw the kid at her.
Marcus and his gang escape and take the car around to a junkyard. They torch the car then hop into another car to speed off home. Marcus gets out of the car and is headed to his house, when he gets ambushed by a masked gunman. Poor Marcus gets shot up a bunch of times and he talks to the audience about how he wished he had his father there. While some stupid 50 Cent fans might be crying for him, I’m laughing at him.
We go back to the good ol’ days where Marcus was a little boy and his mother was a huge drug dealer / whore. He gets dropped off at his grandmother’s house and his Uncle Deuce takes care of him. Marcus is upset that he can’t be with his mother while she sells the drugs on the street. Instead he walks off and raps with some kids in an alleyway. At night Marcus is busting out his phat beats and his mother listens to him. She walks in and asks him to treat girls right. The next day Marcus is in his mum’s car when she stops, gets out and gets pissed off at a guy pushing drugs on her corner. Out comes Majestic, who is played by the same dude who plays Adabesi in Oz – and he breaks up the fight. Marcus comes out of his car wanting to protect his mama and she hugs him for being brave. Aww… what a heap of crap.
Marcus is licking envelopes at a diner as his mother chats up some men. Meanwhile the parents of Marcus’ friend Charlene are listening to the horrible rap from the little punk. Disgusted in how terrible the rap is – or the bad influence from the music – they send him away to live with her grandmother. Marcus is waiting for his mother to pick him up but alas, she has been murdered and the house she was in was burnt to the ground. Poor Marcus finds out what happens while at school and at her funeral a bunch of gangstas dressed like the Mafia appear, including Majestic and the head of the gang Levar. Majestic tells Marcus everything is going to be ok.
A gangstah's always gotta be stylin', profilin' and ballin' - even at a funeral.
Marcus moves in with his grandparents and gets bullied by his family – they steal his food, give him crappy clothes to rare and even boot him out of his bed. Marcus gets pissed off and dumps a bowl of cold water on him. His grandfather protects him by moving him down into the basement. Marcus sees a pair of shoes in a window of a store so he decides to take up drug dealing to buy them. While on a corner pushing drugs some black kids beat him up. He wants a pair of nice shoes and turns to drug dealing. A guy comes and beats him up for taking his corner. Majestic arrives and saves Marcus’ life.
Majestic and his bodyguard take Marcus to a diner and tells him he has to respect the streets and the rules. Marcus gets enough money for the pair of sneakers he wants and also buys himself a gun. He starts doing some rap and turns into adult Marcus. One day, his grandfather heads down into the basement to do the laundry and finds Marcus’ gun. Marcus runs out and heads to school only for him to get arrested for drug possession. Marcus gets into a fight with a grandfather and he is proud of being a GANGSTA!!! He moves out of the house and moves into some craphole apartment. He cleans up the place a little and begins to work on his rapping career – for three hours and then turns to dealing cocaine again. Here is a great example of how to teach struggling children Bucket Heads – when all else fails in life you always have drug dealing to fall back on.
Majestic shows everyone how to make crystal meth. He tells him all to find their own crew and to start pushing their drugs. Marcus and his gang works near the Colombians and they fight for the corner spot. Marcus’ crew it made up of three people – someone who worships him called Justice, a fat guy called Keryl and some normal guy called Antwan. They’re all about getting’ paid and getting’ laid. They hang out at a club and Justice kicks out a woman for not smoking their stuff. Marcus breaks up the fight – because 50 is a pacifist – and goes back to working on his rap career. Over the weeks the gang makes a lot of money and while narrating what is going on, 50 Cent steals the line from Scarface “First you get the money etc.” which makes my blood boil.
The Colombians start shooting up the Blacks, the Blacks start shooting up Colombians, and Asian grocery owners are shooting up young black kids with shotguns for stealing their goods. At a funeral the Colombians meet up with the Blacks and Marcus meets up with meets the Levar. Marcus tells him he worships him like God and Levar agrees that he is one. The cops come but they’ve been bribed. Levar hugs the leader of the Colombians and the war is over in a split second.
Marcus is hanging out with some white gangsta rapper called Dangerous – though I think he is white because I think he might be a black person with very pale skin. A crack head comes up to them and no one wants to sell him drugs because he uses change – but Marcus will take change because 50 is a nice guy! Marcus throws a bagful of cash at a car dealer and takes off with a nice car. He plays “Window Shopper” that is meant to be a crappy demo tape but it sounds like a full quality studio produced song. Marcus is acting all gangsta in his car until he arrives at a beach and looks out to the ocean. He misses his mother, awww… and then heads off to give his tape to a producer because he has a nice car.
His crew isn't made up of Greg, Peter or Bobby but its the closet thing Marcus is going to get to the Brady Bunch.
Marcus drives around with his friends and flirts with women. They drive past a couple and Marcus realises it’s his friend Charlene! They go for lunch and he tells her that he is a gangstah rapper! Marcus wants to start dating Charlene. Marcus visits Majestic and hands him $20,000. Majestic is happy with the pay and thinks its cool he got a new car. They drive around with a guy called Junebug and Majestic talks about teaching Marcus’ mother to drive. He wants to know what happened that night and Boss gets pissed off about him asking questions. That night everyone is at a club and the Colombians attack, wounding poor Antwan. Charlene cries about not wanting to be alone to Marcus takes him back to his craphole. She starts singing the crappy “Best Friend” song, then he starts singing it, then she tells him to keep singing it, then they screw each other.
Marcus heads to the hospital the next day and they find out Antwan isn’t going to be walking anymore. They want to retaliate and Charlene gets upset. Marcus finds the gun and shoots him. He walks up to him to finish the job, but he gets a second thought and allows the guy to live – because 50 Cent ain’t no executioner foo! That, and if this movie WAS based on his life don’t you think he would be arrested for supporting the theory that he murdered someone? Charlene talks about hiding emotions and starts getting upset again. The cops raid Marcus’ place and he gets arrested for drugs. Levar has a meeting with the gang and is pissed off about the Colombians. He tells them he is going away for a vacation and leave some guy in charge, pissing off Majestic about the decision.
Marcus goes to jail and while in the shower gets attacked. A guy called Bama saves him and they become friends. Someone gives Marcus a blade to kill himself with, but instead he starts carving lyrics into the cell walls. Meanwhile the Junebug punk kid shoots a cop and the blame is set up on Levar, who is arrested and sent to prison. Majestic catches a Colombian, and everyone takes turns ripping his teeth out. Majestic slowly rises to the top taking out anyone in his way and becomes a big rap producer. While Dangerous is recording an album, the Colombians come in and kill everyone – but the rapper.
In prison Marcus continues to work on his music and starts recording in his prison cell, while Majestic and the Colombians make peace again. Marcus gets respect from the prisoners for his crappy rap and Bama wants to be his manager. Charlene visits Marcus in prison and says she is pregnant! Probably to another man but I don’t think she is going to tell Marcus that. She says she’ll always be here for him and Bama leaves prison. Marcus leaves prison shortly and blows off Bama for Majestic and his gangstah friends. Bama meets Majestic and his crew and they get into an argument. Majestic tells Marcus to take up his second-man position but Marcus refuses and Majestic gets pissed off. Marcus tells his crew they aren’t going to be doing drugs anymore and Bama is about to kill Justice for moving around in the back. Marcus and Charlene look out to a sunset and Marcus gets upset because he thinks about his mother, awww. Charlene wants Marcus to settle down and she has the baby. They name him Antwan after the guy in the wheelchair, who is still alive by the way he isn’t dead.
Charlene loves Marcus very much, so much she even bitches at him for not being a man after being shot a dozen times.
Marcus starts recording his crap rap and they get a contract from Dangerous, but Dangerous is scared about the meanings in Marcus’ music. Majestic visits Charlene in hospital and holds the baby. Marcus finds out and wants to kill him, but not an actual kill a humiliation kill! That works, because if Marcus DID kill Majestic that means 50 Cent actually killed him and he would do jail time! Marcus starts rapping again and aims his stuff at Majestic, who is furious about Marcus and breaks off all ties from him. Majestic puts out the hit on Bama and Marcus. Bama is eating at a diner and a crew is ready to kill him but Bama knows what is going on and they don’t kill him. Majestic is blocking Marcus’ music from being produced and Marcus refuses to go back into crime.
We then cut back to the start where Marcus, Bama, Keryl and Justice are in the money store and it turns out it’s a Colombian place. It cuts to Marcus getting shot again and he starts having a bunch of flashbacks, including him on the night his mother went into labor in a diner and gave birth to him. Marcus says he died on his way to hospital but came back. One doctor talks about how a 4 year old gets shot once and dies, but an adult gets shot about a dozen times and lives. Yes, some MORON is trying to compare a little kid getting shot to an adult getting shot. Of course the kid is probably going to die from a gunshot wound because their body is so small and not as developed as an adult! This moron should have his medical license removed!
Junebug comes to Majestic and he finds out Marcus lived. Majestic removes a sword from his pimp cane and kills Junebug. That was pretty random. Marcus heads home and is pissed off that Dangerous has a number one hit. Charlene is talking to Bama about losing the man she once knew. Charlene confronts Marcus and asks if they’re going to keep living like this. She starts treating him like a dog, calling him weak and pathetic and that her son can’t look up to a real man. Damn, I don’t like Marcus (or 50) but the poor guy just got shot up a bunch of times. Marcus destroys his medicine and says he can do without anything, and Charlene asks if he can do without her. The two kiss and make up.
Marcus pulls out his bracers and she feels his tongue. They make out again and Charlene says she can feel his pain! Oh how freaky corny. Marcus starts rapping again but gets upset because he sounds all screwed up from getting shot in the face. Now here’s the funny thing about that – HE HAS BEEN TALKING LIKE THAT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE!!! Marcus complains he doesn’t sound the same but everyone says it adds PAIN to his lyrics! We cut to a rip off Rocky montage of Marcus working out, rapping, getting tattoos and selling his CDs on the street. Marcus plays with his kid in the snow. He walks down the beach with Charlene and he says he is going to meet Levar.
Considering he got shot in the face as well as the chest, you would have thought Marcus would have borrowed Jason's mask for protection huh?
The two talks in prison and Levar says he and Majestic wanted Marcus’ mother back in the day. Levar says something to Marcus that hints towards the fact he (Levar) is his father. Marcus continues his rap-attacks on Majestic who is getting more pissed off. Even Majestic’s crew is singing Marcus’ songs! There’s a protest going on about selling drugs outside a place where Marcus’ concert is being held up. Marcus puts on a bulletproof vest and his family is worried about him dying. His grandmother cries about too many people dying because of the rap and she wishes Marcus would settle down with Charlene and his son. Marcus says goodbye to everyone and leaves.
They go to the concert and Majestic comes in with his crew. Majestic says he isn’t going to let Marcus ruin his image. Marcus tells him he has no respect for Majestic, so Majestic tells him he screwed his mother because he murdered her! OH THE TWIST!!! Marcus and Majestic brawl around the place and everyone breaks up the fight. Majestic starts crying and begs him not to ruin his image. Marcus turns around and Majestic pulls out his sword from his pimp cane, but Bama pulls out a gun and pops a cap into his ass! Majestic wants Marcus to finish off the job but he doesn’t because he isn’t an executioner (and 50 Cent doesn’t want to be charged with murder after the film’s release), so Bama kills him instead.
Marcus walks out on stage and he discovers that he wasn’t looking for his father the whole time; he was looking for himself! How spiritual! Marcus walks out on stage and starts up his concert. He takes off his vest, his shirt and begins busting out his fat raps as the movie comes to an end.
I didn’t know what to make of this movie. If you look at it as a movie about the life of 50 Cent it is so sugar coated it makes me sick. If you look at it as an actual movie you can’t help but think how corny and pathetic it is. I could go on but I’m saving it for my Final Thoughts. Until then my Bucket Heads take care of yourselves and I’ll see you all soon!
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