Fear Dot Com – Top 5 Flops & Final Thoughts.
March 20th 2008 21:18
Alright it’s time for my weekly wrap up of this pathetic movie and that means it’s time for the Top 5 Flops and Final Thoughts section. There were so many things that sucked about Fear Dot Com I didn’t know where to start. I managed to nail down the five worse things about this movie so here they are Bucket Heads!
#5: Smells like The Ring… and other movies.
The biggest thing that caught my eye about this movie was how much of a blatant rip off it was to the movie The Ring. Basically in the ring if you watch this cursed video you’ll die afterwards unless you can solve the mystery or something like that. This movie involved one dying 48 hours after visiting this screwed up website.
That wasn’t the only movie that this film copied. There’s another movie floating out there from Japan called Kairo which involves a ghost haunting the Internet. Add the little girl ‘inspired’ from the movie Village of the Damned and the ‘snuff TV’ scenes inspired by other movies and you’ve got yourself one big fat rip-off movie.
#4: The Doctor.
I think this has to be one of the most stupid, if not THE most stupid, serial killer I have ever seen in a movie. I’ve seen a bunch of thrillers and horrors and dramas involving some kick ass serial killers who kill for a bunch of reasons but this one has to have the most bizarre reason to kill. The Doctor murders people because he is mad at cyber sex and Internet relationships. Now it’s understandable if he kills people who run those cheesy nude webshows but the people he killed (he killed one known one in the past and was about to kill another in this movie) had nothing to do with Internet porn.
The Doctor ranted on how people are always locked away in their rooms because of the Internet and that he was going to teach them a lesson. What lesson? He’s teaching people that they are better off locked inside their homes if they don’t want to run into psychos like this idiot. By the way, doesn’t it seem a bit stupid to be killing people over the Internet just contradict one’s hatred for the Internet?
#3: Where’s the “Fear”?
Here’s something that really annoyed me about the movie. Terry the Health Inspector figures out people who log onto Feardotcom.com die 48 hours later from the thing that they are afraid of the most, and uses the example her boss died in a car accident because “he was afraid of car accidents” which asks: why the hell would he be driving around in a busy city if he was so afraid?
Anyway, besides Terry’s boss and the ghost girl (who was scared of sharp items as she was a hemophilia but she played in a steel mill…), no other fears were showed in this movie. I’m going to go through the list of people who died in this movie and try to figured out their fears through their deaths:
Udo Keir: Was killed at the start of the movie by a train. He must be afraid of trains.
German Goth Woman: Was found dead inside a bath tub after her boyfriend placed her in there as she got gravely ill. I’ll assume she is afraid of having a bath.
German Goth Man: Was found dead inside his prison cell. I’ll assume he is afraid of prison cells.
Denise: Jumped off her building and killed herself. I’ll assume she was afraid of jumping out of buildings, that or bugs since her place became a cockroach haven.
That was it. Terry and Mike visited the website as well but Mike was killed by The Doctor. He stated he was afraid of germs but there were no scenes involving him getting freaked out by germs. Don’t bother asking me what Terry was afraid off since there were no signs of her fear what-so-ever. Maybe she wasn’t afraid of anything. The point is, if you’re going to have a movie called Fear Dot Com and have the fact people die from their fears, you might what to kill people by the things they are afraid of the most.
#2: The almighty health inspector!
If you are going to watch this movie you may want to consider becoming a health inspector. If they are as powerful in the real world as they are in the movie world we are in the wrong professions people! These guys can just walk around, take over a major investigation and everyone, even the cops, are powerless to stop them!
Throughout the entire movie Terry completely took over the investigation from Mike, bossed him around, done all the research and even had the balls to tell other people in the police department to hand over top secret documents without any court orders! I wish I had that type of power.
#1: Stupid vengeful ghost.
This was the one thing that really, really confused me about this movie. Ok, let’s dive into a scenario and touch wood this does not happen to any of you reading this. Let’s say one day you’re walking home and you get abducted by a murderer. He brutally tortures you for days and then he finally takes your life. You become a tormented ghost looking to seek revenge on this cold blooded killer. What would you do?
A: Haunt the site of your murder until you find someone suitable enough to solve the mystery and start appealing to them for help?
B: Appear to a psychic and tell her what happened, who done it and ask them to try help the police catch your killer?
C: Grab some random person and murder them after 48 hours even though they have no idea that they are meant to be helping you?
In this movie our stupid friendly ghost went with C. Why the hell would a ghost want vengeance for their murder by killing everyone who had no idea that they are meant to try to find her murderer? Even when Terry and Mike were trying to find out the information the ghost still tortured and tormented them. If you ask me this ghost was an ungrateful and impatient bitch and if she asked me to play, I’d tell her to take her stupid game and stick it right up her ass.
Final Thoughts.
From start to finish this movie sucked. The plot holes in the script were very bad and instead of making any sense this script just kept on getting more confusing. Something in the movie would contradict something that was said earlier. Like I said above just throw the entire fear factor out the window since the movie barely touched up on it. I still can’t get over the whole idea of a ghost killing people for not helping it when the people getting killed had no idea they were meant to help her.
The ending was terrible but at least it did not leave it open to a sequel. Honestly I don’t even think this movie should have been made. I think the thing that scares me is that there is a movie coming out soon about snuff TV web casts where the more people tune in the quicker the person dies. I really don’t see what the whole idea of making ‘killer website movies’ are but I guess Hollywood is just keeping up with the times. We went from killer songs, to killer videos, killer websites soon they’ll be movies about killer DVDs and HD-TV.
Not only is this a bad ‘Internet’ horror/thriller but it also blows as a ghost movie. I don’t know who I would recommend this movie to but if people have so much time on their hands and want to waste ninety minutes of their life, I’d suggest you watch this. It was unbearable to watch and I struggled keeping myself awake. You should really watch this movie if you want to know how NOT to write or create a bad horror/thriller movie.
That’s all I have to say about this terrible flick Bucket Heads and I’ll be hurling this back to the bottom of the Bucket. Next week I doubt I will have a post up on Monday since it’s going to be the Easter weekend and I’ll be out visiting relatives so I’ll most likely post a review up Tuesday. Next week’s movie is going to be a sequel to a movie that I have already reviewed. What makes next week sad is that though the movie still sucks, it is better than the first. The movie, Anaconda 2 or Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid. It’s going to be a fun journeying back into the jungle so I hope you’re looking forward to it.
Have a safe and happy Easter weekend Bucket Heads!
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