Double Dragon - Part 5
January 4th 2008 02:02
Category: No Category
The Lee Brothers, Billy and Jimmy. One was dropped on his head when he was a kid, the other most likely dropped him on his head.
We are nearing the end of our journey through this bad piece of crap Bucket Heads so what better way to end off our segment by looking at the two heroes of Double Dragon. They are the brave, fearless, bad-ass twin brothers Bimmy and Jimmy, sorry I meant Billy and Jimmy. If you’ve played Double Dragon 3 and you’ve seen the typo on the first screen of the game you’ll know what I mean.
I would like to say that the video game characters are portrayed well in the movie but alas they are not just like in many movies based on video games. Instead of getting our two bad ass brothers who take on wave after wave of bad guy we get two freaking stupid morons who happen to be the most annoying people in the world. So let’s take a look at the two brothers starting off with:
BILLY LEE!!!
Poor Billy Lee. This dude in the video game is just chilling at home with his girlfriend when one day these punks beat her up and haul her off. Billy’s a pissed off young man looking to kick the ass of everyone involved in taking his girl from him. In the movie however things are completely the opposite.
Billy Lee in this movie is played by Scott Wolf. You should remember him from that show Party of Five and umm… he was in… well Double Dragon he was in that. Well I guess after Party of Five and Double Dragon he really didn’t have anything else going for him. So Scott Wolf plays the smart-ass little brat called Billy Lee. He is the younger brother of the two and I’m not talking like a few minutes younger I’m talking about a whole year younger. This means they aren’t twins like in the game or it could mean their mother was in labor with Billy for a whole year, which is pretty painful to think about.
Anyway back to this punk. Billy has the brain of an eight year old after his asshole older brother Jimmy most likely closed a car door on his skull several times by accident. (More on Jimmy soon). Billy uses words like ‘Gnarly’ and calls people ‘Knucklehead’ like any Hollywood eight year old boy would. This guy screws up a karate match between for himself and his brother by giving his opponent a noogie. This shows how immature this brat is.
Not only is he extremely annoying throughout the movie from the things he says but it’s also the things he does. For example if one is trained in martial arts you would face off against your opponent in a bloody fist fight until the bitter end. Instead Billy runs around screaming like an idiot with his eyes wide open while throwing basketballs and marbles at the people chasing him. Whenever something happens to someone he HAS to comment on it no matter what it is.
When his guardian dies it seems Billy realizes how much of a damn moron he is and tries to change his ways, which means he is slightly, very slightly, less annoying and still can’t fight anyone fairly. At the end of the movie he becomes the more ‘mature’ of the two and I say that loosely since he still is a stupid punk. So instead of a bad-ass young man who wants to kick everyone’s ass we instead get an annoying young adult who makes everyone want to kick his ass. Let’s move onto the slightly better brother:
JIMMY LEE!!!
Now Jimmy Lee is the twin brother of Billy. We don’t know if he has a girlfriend or anything but he seems to love his brother a lot if he is willing to put his own life on the line for his brother’s bitch, I mean girlfriend. It’s a sham we don’t see the same loving and caring brother in the movie.
Jimmy is played by Mark Dacascos who pretty much just stared in this one movie and never appeared in anything else ever. In this movie Jimmy is just an asshole, plain and simple. I’m an older brother myself and I’m a bit of an asshole to my brother, hey it’s our job as the elder sibling to show the others who’s the boss. By the way I wasn’t making ANY reference to Alyssa Milano.
Anyway back to this jerk. Jimmy treats Billy like crap constantly in the first half of the movie. He’s pissed off when Billy screws up the karate game, I probably would be pissed off as well, but I think it goes much deeper than that. I believe that Jimmy has a Freudian crush on his brother and he is jealous that Billy gets all the women and he doesn’t. If Jimmy smiled a lot more, went out with some friends and stopped being such a damn ASSHOLE then maybe he would manage to find himself a good woman and stop fantasizing about getting it on with his younger brother.
What does Jimmy do that makes him such an asshole? Besides trying to ruin every chance of Billy having fun he doesn’t even comfort his brother when they lose a woman who was like a mother to them. He grabs a bunch of photos from Billy and hurls them into the river for God’s sake! You have to be a real asshole to do that to your brother in mourning. I beat if Billy’s girlfriend was kidnapped in this movie, Jimmy would just go along only to beat the shit out of Billy’s girl and tell her off for allowing herself to be kidnapped in the first place.
Jimmy realizes how much of an asshole he really is and turns tries to become less of an asshole at this point, the same time Billy tries to be less of a moron. Jimmy should have just stuck to being an asshole as he now tries to crack funny jokes and fails badly doing so. So Jimmy goes from an asshole to someone trying and failing badly to become less of an asshole.
You see what they did in this movie? They made Billy go from the immature one to the mature one and made Jimmy go from the mature one to the immature one. Isn’t that clever? One brother learnt that you shouldn’t be an idiot all the time and the other brother learnt that you shouldn’t be an asshole all the time. That only means they’re caught in a circle and will keep switching back between the two. All I know is that these versions of Billy and Jimmy sucked and if the video game ones came alive they would beat the crap out of Scott Wolf and the other guy who played Jimmy for making them look like idiot.
That about wraps up out two moronic heroes and the movie in general. Come back tomorrow for the official movie dumping in the bucket tomorrow people.
If they just had Billy and Jimmy go around kicking everyone’s asses, be it male or female, adult or child, THAT would be an awesome movie to watch! Damn idiots are karate experts and they run from a fight, give me a damn break.
| 70 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
