DoA: Dead or Alive – Top 5 Flops & Final Thoughts.
March 14th 2008 04:17
Alright its time for my weekly wrap up of this pathetic movie and what a better way to finish the week off with the Top 5 Flops and Final Thoughts section. I really like the name of this part, just sounds nice when you say it out loud. Anyways let’s kick off the show!
#5: Annoying characters.
All of the characters featured in this movie were some of the worst characters that I have ever seen. They were terrible, absolutely terrible. Why you’re wondering? They were so damn annoying. You had a redneck Texan American girl who busted out every southern saying possible, a Japanese Princess walking around busting out some Japanese saying and everyone else doing their own little stupid things, like Weatherby correcting everyone on how to say his name even when 95% of the time they wouldn’t even say his name. And don’t get me started on Zack; just thinking about that idiot makes me want to buy the game to kick his ass over and over again. This leads me to my next point:
#4: Bad… bad acting…
The acting all round was so bad. This game is meant to be a violent game but instead of aggressive people we had a bunch of actors who were far from that. They were all happy and cheerful and it made me sick. Plus I didn’t know a single actor in that movie besides two people: the first was Holly Valance who played a character in a soap opera over here called Neighbours and the second actor I knew was Kevin Nash who’s a pro-wrestler. Other then that everyone in this movie I didn’t know and in general they all sucked.
#3: Terrible sound effects.
I really hate watching a movie that has stupid sound effects in it, like when someone gets punched in this movie it made a gunshot sound. When someone got knocked out there were birds singing. Every time someone did something in this movie there was a sound that did not match the action. The only time I am ok with something like this happening if its in a kid’s movie. If it’s not a kids movie don’t add stupid sound effects in your movie because it’s going to piss off all of your main audience which are adults.
#2: Technologically advanced sunglasses?
Oh I’ve seen some stupid crap in movies over the years but I think this has to be one of the most ridiculous things that I have ever seen. Donovan, the bad guy of the movie, injects these cells into all the fighters’ bodies so he can record all of their information. Once the information has been collected he uploads it into his mind through the power of these stupid sunglasses so he can fight better. It’s so stupid, Jesus Christ give me a damn break. The technology in this movie was completely overdone and yes I know there’s other movies out there they go crazy with their technology but at least it’s believable.
#1: So close yet so far.
What do I mean by this? I mean that this movies was based off a video game and the movie itself was like the video game yet it was so far off it. Examples you ask? Ok.
Likenesses:
Names of characters.
Player’s “Health Bars” appearing during a fight.
The commentating (eg: KO! YOU WIN!)
Extreme Volleyball.
Differences:
Everything.
Names of characters.
Player’s “Health Bars” appearing during a fight.
The commentating (eg: KO! YOU WIN!)
Extreme Volleyball.
Differences:
Everything.
The characters in this movie shared the same names as their characters in the video game yet looked different. My friends who are fans of the game watched this after I told them to watch it and they said the majority of the characters looked nothing like the ones in the game and their personalities were different. As for the stupid health bars and other video game likenesses in it, they hated it as well. I agree with them I thought it was completely stupid. Could you imagine watching Neo fight Agent Smith and they had health bars pop up? That would annoy the crap out of me.
Final Thoughts.
If BloodRayne wasn’t around I would have to say this had to be one of the worst video-game turned movies that I have ever seen. Yes, it is even worse than Double Dragon. If you are a fan of the video game avoid watching this heap of crap because you are going to get to pissed off you’ll break your games and your console.
Everything about this movie was bad from the acting to the script. It’s funny since this movie was meant to be about a tournament involving fighters around the world for movie but in the end it turned into a set-up to download fighters’ information to terrorists and the tournament was buried and forgotten. From what I know it doesn’t matter what the storyline was in the game, everyone finished the damn tournament in the end. It’s the same with Tekken and everything other fighting game. There’s a tournament going on, there’s drama in the middle of it but they all went on to finish off the tournament in the end.
Everything about this movie was ridiculous. I don’t know what this movie was meant to achieve. It was too confusing to be aimed at kids and it was too childish to be aimed at adults. I guess this movie would only please a super genius child with the mind of an adult but he or she or it would probably find this movie too stupid. I will say one thing though; this movie achieved what many male fans of the game love about DOA - hot women with huge bouncy boobs.
Only see this movie if you like watching hot women play Volleyball on the beach other than that, don’t bother with this heap of crap. And so that wraps out this week’s review on DOA: Dead or Alive. Come back next week Bucket Heads where I am going proves ghosts can haunt the internet. It is possibly the worst cyber horror/thriller movie I’ve ever seen and the name of the “haunted website” makes it even more confusing. The name of the movie, is Feat Dot Com and it isn’t going to be pretty I can tell you all now. Have a fun and safe weekend!
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Comment by Brenton
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Comment by Wayne F
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I too thought the movie was watchable as well, only I thought that the redeeming feature was the TnA that was featured in it. This movie pretty much lived up to the expectations of the dirty male audience who loved the game - hot chicks with bouncy boobs.
Thanks for the comment dude.