Curse of the Komodo - Part 1
December 17th 2007 02:18
Category: No Category
WARNING: You maybe tempted to kill yourself after watching this bucket of crap.
Wow Bucket Heads, just wow. Honestly there are some movies that are floating around in our world that are so, SO damn horrible you struggle to watch it because they are so damn hideous. I kid you not that this was the case for this terrible, TERRIBLE movie.
You’ve never heard of Curse of the Komodo before? GOOD! After this review you’ll wish you never heard of it either. I can safely say, without a shadow of doubt, that this is THE WORST GOD DAMN MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN! I struggled to watch this HUGE piece of crap that I had to watch it in small chunks because I could not stand ANYTHING about this movie.
Every single aspect of this movie sucked, from actors to effects to the storyline. There is nothing positive about the movie and when you think that you’ve just wasted ninety minutes of your life watching it, it makes you want to go find the director of this movie and beat the living CRAP out of him. I really have no damn idea where I am going to start but I’ll try. Let’s just start off with the obvious:
SMELLS LIKE JURASSIC PARK!!!
The movie is about a group of scientists who venture off to an island where a top secret government project is going completely wrong. It seems like an experiment for genetically modified food has turned the population of komodo dragons into gigantic creatures who are going to stop at nothing.
Wait, giant lizards… an island… a group of scientists… where the hell have I heard that from before? Oh yeah, JURASSIC PARK! The director just pulled a page right out of Spielberg’s book and added his own creative twist to it, only it’s not creative and I would have probably pulled something better out of my ass.
Now you’re probably thinking that I am overreacting to this, saying:
“Just because Curse of the Komodo has the giant komodo dragons on an island and Jurassic Park has giant dinosaurs on an island doesn’t make it the same! You’s crazy man!”
Hmmm… maybe you’re right, but I doubt that because I am always right my friend! You think I’m crazy about this? Ok, let’s fast-forward to about thirty minutes into the movie.
Realising that standing around the giant komodo dragon for five minutes shooting it is having no effect on it (yes you read that right), our brave scientists and casino robbers (no its not Danny Ocean and friends), get into a vehicle and get the hell out of there as fast as they can, with the man-hungry Komodo dragon hot on their trial. Need a picture? Here you go:
Are you convinced now!? The director pretty much took the entire scene from Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is chasing the jeep, removed the T-Rex and slapped on that crappy Komodo dragon. And yes, THAT is the komodo dragon. I know young kids who could create better animated creatures than that crap!
This movie is nothing more than a clone of Jurassic Park, expect it doesn’t have the awesome directing, awesome effects, awesome acting, awesome script work and pretty much just everything awesome that made Jurassic Park a God damn awesome movie. I hope Spielberg reads this review, finds out where the director for this crapfest of a movie is and beats the living hell out of this guy with an Oscar or a Golden Globe or something.
The horror has just begun my Bucket Heads. Come back tomorrow and we’ll talk about the porn stars who are the actors in this movie. Yeah, you heard that right, porn stars trying to act. As if they can’t do that badly enough. Don’t look at me like that… I’m no dirty pervert…
God, I really HATE this movie.
| 55 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Andy 2
Cop it Sweet
Metamorphosis
Random Travels
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies