Curse of the Komodo - Final Thoughts
December 22nd 2007 01:38
To View Past Curse of the Komodo Posts, Click The Following Links:
Part 1 – Smells like Jurassic Park
Part 2 – PornyWood
Part 3 – The Story of the Curse of the Komodo
Part 5 – Komodo Dragon Edu-mah-cation
Finally the crapness has come to an end. I am really glad that I got this terrible movie out of the way as quick as I did. Sure, they are a lot more terrible movies out there but I think that Curse of the Komodo had to be the worst movie I have ever seen yet. So let’s wrap up this bucket of crap and end this once and for more.
The Loathes:
I hated every thing about these movie, EVERYTHING. There just too much things to hate about this movie. I think I hated the acting most of all followed up very closely by the terrible script. This was just a Jurassic Park clone the featured porn star actors trying to… well act.
The Komodo Dragon animations has to be some of the worst special effects I have ever seen in a movie. Yeah it might have been a low budget film but I’ve seen a lot of low budget films that put in a decent effect. They were better off superimposing Komodo dragons into the scenes and making them look gigantic as it would probably have been better. I don’t get me started with the bullcrap Komodo dragon poison that can turn people into zombies. If I wanted to see zombies I would go out and hire a zombie movie. Having zombies in this movie only added to the confusion.
And speaking of bad special affects, if you do end up watching this terrible movie check out the awesome explosions, from the Komodo dragon getting blown up to the INTENSE bombing of the island from the Navy. They are meant to be using napalm, but the bombs are like tiny bombs that produce cute little mushroom clouds.
Here’s something that really annoyed me. Whenever they would go over to Pearl Harbor they had a huge far shot of a bunch of battleships but the SAME shot was used every time they cut to this scene. There was even a storm happening in Pearl Harbor but the shot they used was the same normal, calm sea and key shot that had no indication that a storm was currently taking place. To make it more realistic they could have drawn in some clouds with zigzag lightning bolts coming out from them.
The Likes:
There is nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, that I liked about this movie. Every single aspect of this movie plain and simply sucked.
The Script / Plot:
A science team that accidentally creates gigantic mutated Komodo dragons when trying to make modified food. Now they must eliminate these mistakes before the Komodo dragons spread their terror throughout the world!
THAT was what those asshole scientists were meant to do but instead the idiots and those moronic casino robbers hide behind the electric fences trying to plan ways of escaping. Why the hell do you plan on escaping if it is your job to kill the reptiles? Fair enough if you want to escape if you’re one of the robbers, this crap isn’t your fault, but if you’re the one responsible for this mess you should clean it up.
There were so many plot holes in this I lost count. Komodo dragons hate the sunlight yet they run around during the day? There were also random developments as well, like Tiffany suddenly wanting to stop her life of crime with Drake, who agrees because the two are in love? Are they forgetting they are up for murder and armed robbery which would probably land them in death row!?
If the movie did stick to what it was meant to be and was actually, you know, consistent than the movie might be slightly better and make some more sense. Of course that would make too much sense which is what the movie purposely avoids.
The Actors:
In a previous post I’ve mentioned that the majority of these guys are from porn films and just like in pornography movies, these guys cannot act for crap. The best example I can think of is that idiot Rebecca played by Glori-Anne Gilbert trying to cry by putting on a sad face and moaning like an idiot. Stick to porno honey since you can probably act better in those type of films. I don’t think anyone bothered trying to act in this movie or maybe they WERE trying to hard their very best. If that was their best they’re probably act better by taking a brick to their head. They all sucked and should probably be executed for trying to act.
The Changes:
I’d blow up the studio the movie was made in, kill all the cast and make sure the director is tortured hours on end for producing a horrible film. There’s nothing that I or anyone could have done to possibility make this movie better but go back in time and stop this from being produced. There’s a movie out there that is extremely better than this crap which is similar and its called Jurassic Park.
Final Thoughts:
By far this has got to be one of the WORST films I have ever seen. I have a really bad feeling that there are more terrible movies out there but I doubt their crapness could compare to these garbage.
There is nothing good about this movie, nothing at all. It’s just a cheap rip-off of Jurassic Park with bad acting and script work and directing, just everything sucked about it. I’m just going to be very blunt and say it’s simply terrible. I can’t think of any other word in the dictionary to describe this piece of crap.
If I have to keep stopping a movie every ten minutes because it was so horrible for a break you KNOW it’s going to be a bad movie. I wouldn’t even suggest people watch this for a good laugh because there is nothing to laugh about, at all. This is just a boring, ninety minute movie that feels like it’s been going on for ninety hours that’s so painful I’d rather perform open heart surgery without any pain killers.
I’m tossing this piece of crap into the bucket with the other pieces of crap my Bucket Heads. I do not want to touch or speak or see or smell or hear about this movie every again. If I do have to watch this every again I’d make sure to play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver. For now I shall wish you all well and I will see you all next week for a brand new, spanking bad movie. Peace!
Batman: “That was the Commission Robin. It seems there are people out there with a sinister ideas, turning video games into movies!”
Robin: “Holy Nintendo Batman! Games transformed into movies NEVER work out!”
Batman: “Unfortunately old chum some people believe video games can produce great movies. You ever heard of a movie called BloodRayne?”
Robin: “What the hell? BloodRayne was a crappy videogame why the hell would you make a movie about that!?”
Batman: “I don’t know Robin, why don’t we go pay a visit to that fool Uwe Boll! Come, to the Batmobile!”
Robin: “Umm… we’re already standing at it you idiot.”
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