Catwoman - Part 4
December 4th 2007 08:54
Category: No Category
"Get your paws off me!" Witty photo comment, or bad movie quote?
The one thing that movies will also be remembered for are the memorable quotes. Quotes in comedy movies linger around schoolyards and in offices being repeated endlessly by people trying their best to impersonate that funny character. Some quotes in movies that are more serious are often used by people are a saying that they live by. Sometimes people will hear an awesome quote or phase uttered by a character in a movie that haunts them to the bone.
And then there are quotes that make you think:
“Someone wrote this crap?”
Bucket-Heads, I present to you:
THE WORST QUOTES IN CATWOMAN!!!
I have a feeling the quote section of my reviews are going to be a favourite. As I am writing this I’m starting to think of how many bad quotes from other movies I’ve watched I’m starting to remember. Some of them had me laughing; some of them made me want to take a hammer for my head because they were so terrible. Other quotes just made me stare blankly at my television for hours in confusion.
Moving on, I’ve decided for the quote section to write the name of the quote, (WELL AH DUH!!!), who said it and give the circumstances surrounding it. So let’s kick off the quotes!
“We don’t know who she is, but we know what she saw!” – Laurel’s Goon.
Yeah I figured I would start off with a previously mentioned quote from the last post. Laurel’s goon says this after firing his gun while chasing Patience through the lab. Why shoot at her? Because she discovered the BS-Cream has side effects. Can’t let that little secret out can we? See folks, the cosmetic world is deadly. And speaking of quotes from previous posts…
“God that's such a good name. Tom Lone rhymes with cone, bone, phone…” – Sally.
Who could forget that one? Sally busts that great line out after Detective Tom Lone introduces himself to her. When I meet a complete stranger for the first time, I wouldn’t want to make myself look like an idiot and rhyme his and/or her name. I’d rather throw up in their face. I could say I was sick, but what can you say about someone going on a rhyming rant with someone’s name?
“Ok, then lemme try the remix. I'm sorry for every second I wasted working for an untalented, unethical, egomaniac like you!” - Patience Philips
This quote is great. Having screwed up yet again, Patience’s boss George Hedare (he runs the company with his wife Laurel but he has more power), starts getting pissed off at her which he rightfully should. She apologises, he say’s it isn’t going to cut it so she gives him ATTITUDE! Shortly after, he fires her ass. DAMN RIGHT! I wouldn’t take any shit from any employee who’s going to be speaking like that to me either!
What kind of annoyed me about this was how Hollywood tends to portray the majority of black women in films with that fiery, out-spoken, take-no-shit-from-no-one attitude. I’m not racist or anything and I’m not trying to take shots at anyone, I’m just saying its so overused and watered down its lost all meaning and in my eyes, it’s really annoying and typical today. Onward with the quotes!
“Cats come when they feel like it, not when they’re told” – Catwoman.
Yeah she isn’t Patience anymore but Catwoman when this beauty gets busted out. This comes from a horrible scene in the movie where Detective Lone is catching Catwoman through the catwalk of an opera auditorium. If you’re going to watch this, be prepared for the worst lighting and camera shots you’ve ever seen it made me dizzy and I almost had a seizure from it. Where was I? Oh yeah, so Lone tells Catwoman she’s under arrest and to sudden, so Catwoman replies with that.
I’m going to be focusing a lot on Catwoman another day simply because there is so much to talk about her. Let’s just put it, I think just about every single cat-related phrases that exist are used throughout the whole film. Just like this one:
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” – Catwoman
You won’t guess what happens here when she says this one! In this crazy scene where Catwoman gets smashed after losing a Vodka drinking contest with the Penguin and begins talking to a broom. Catwoman gets annoyed at the broom because he won’t reply back to her so she asks him that question! Well… actually she’s interrogating some goon of Laurel’s and she holds his tongue as he is about to speak. Wouldn’t someone holding the tongue of the person they are trying to get answer out of defeat the purpose of that in the first place?
“I knew I felt a spark between us” – Catwoman
It’s not cat related but its just a corny and horrible. While trying to avoid Detective Lone, an electrical cable starts flickering around. Catwoman grabs it, if I recall, and she threatens Lone with it. Lone tells her to be careful with it, and she replies with that. You get it!? Felt a spark!? It’s implying that she is actually banging Lone as Patience but fighting him as Catwoman and he doesn’t know! So if she likes him so much why is she trying to kill him? What a bitch.
“Game over!” - Laurel Hedare
“Guess what? It's overtime!” – Catwoman
A double whammy! This is the big fight scene between the two ladies and Laurel says that just as she’s about to finish off Catwoman with a big pole while she is laying on the glass ceiling of the company’s huge tower. Laurel says that bad liner when she could have said something better like:
“They say cat’s have nine lives. Let’s see if you have more than one!”
Or
“Time this put this bad kitty down!”
Or
“God, I used to be a damn good actress now look at me. I’m staring in a horrible Batman spin-off movie when I could have done something better. I wonder if they’ll be making a second Basic Instinct movie…”
Fortunately for Ms. Stone they did, unfortunately the movie sucked just as much as this movie did, (and you can all look forward for that review down the road). See how easy that was to think of something better to say to someone on the verge of their defeat? Let’s talk about Catwoman’s little come back shall we? There is no OVERTIME in a video game if you have died. Once you die, that’s it, GAME OVER! That’s the whole point of the phrase "game over", you lose and there’s no coming back UNLESS you have an extra credit or life. See Catwoman should have replied:
“Guess what? I have an extra life!”
Now that would make a lot more sense. When you have an extra life in a video game you get to play again, depending on the game you will start off exactly in the same spot. Plus, if she said she had an extra life it plays on the whole “cat’s have nine lives”. By doing this, not only would the comeback quote make a lot of sense but they could stick with the whole lame cat-related rubbish that gets slammed into our faces throughout the whole movie! I’m a genius! Let’s end these quotes with one of my personal favourites.
“I think this is boring.” – Drina
Who’s Drina? She’s the new face of the cosmetic company and the woman George (the company’s big boss) is dating, and yes he is married to Laurel and she knows about it. The quote comes from a scene when she is forced to watch an art performance with George. Why is this quote great? Because this is exactly what was going through my head the whole time I was watching the movie. Conscience? Me thinks not!
And so ends our little adventure through the wonderful world of bad quotes. I’m really looking forward to further quote sections in movie reviews to come. Come back next time when we turn our attention to Laurel, as everyone is turning their attention away from her. Awww…
And if you think those cat-related quotes where bad, just wait for all the cold/ice/winter related quotes that Mr. Freeze busts out in Batman & Robin. Coming soon to a Bucket near you!
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