Catwoman - Part 2
November 30th 2007 08:50
Category: No Category
You know what else rhymes with Lone? Telephone, Trombone, Sax-a-ma-phone...
In films there are many characters that we all come across that make us laugh because they are so funny. There are characters that make us sad because they’ve had such a hard life and when things look better for them they get hit by a bus or a train or something. There are characters that get us mad because they are sly, manipulative people who will sacrifice anyone so they can achieve their dark goals.
And then there are characters who are so annoying when they are trying to be funny but instead come off as extremely frustrating. They are so frustrating in fact that you wanna take a brick to your head until you start seeing something much more prettier. When something happens to them you don’t really feel sad about them. In fact, you become happy when they suffer and the only time you get mad at them is whenever they open their god damn mouths to belt out horrible one liners.
Bucket-Heads, allow me to introduce you to one of the most annoying characters to ever grace a movie and the second worst aspect of the film:
SALLY!!!
I’m going to put this very plain and simple right now; SHE IS NOT FUNNY, PERIOD. She has got to be the most annoying and most stupid character that I have ever, EVER, seen in a film. Sure, there are other characters in films there are meant to be annoying but that’s their character’s role. Sally just takes the cake trying to be funny and charming, but instead is just stupid, and extremely overly horny. Yes, you read extremely overly horny. Shall we begin?
We first see Sally at Patience’s work, (remember Patience is the name they decided to give Catwoman even though her name should have been Selina Kyle like the original one in Batman), and straight off the bat she is just downright annoying. She is one of those people who talk really fast and seems to relate everything to sex. I don’t know what they were trying to achieve with this character. If they wanted a comic relief character they have failed. When the character of Detective Tom Lone, played by Benjamin Bratt, introduces himself to her, Sally replies,
“God that's such a good name. Tom Lone rhymes with cone, bone, phone…”
No I’m not making this up. I don’t even know what the role of this character is meant to be. I don’t even know if you’re meant to feel bad for her when she passes out and is rushed to the hospital, (this is due to the side effect of this magical cosmetic cream but more on that another day). When she is in the hospital, she tries to have a crack at all of the male staff inside the hospital! You know normally when people go to a hospital they are there to recover from life-threatening injuries or illnesses, not to find a one-night stand.
Fortunately this is where Sally spends the remainder of the film and we hardly have to put up with her stupid, endless rants about how she needs a good man or two, or three, or four. Unfortunately it should be me who is in the hospital after forcing myself to sit through this horrible film.
What makes this sad is the fact the person who plays Sally is Alex Borstein, who is the voice of Lois Griffin in Family Guy. Yeah I didn’t know that either until I hit up IMDB. If I didn’t know that my snipers would have opened fire but luckily I called them off just in time.
I think its time I start pulling out the good stuff, and by good stuff I mean terrible things about this film. Come back next time when we look at the dangerous, the mysterious, the ruthless world of the cosmetic industry!
Lone rhymes with cone… who the hell wrote this crap?
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