Bugs - Part 1
January 28th 2008 01:51
Category: No Category
The movie's so bad that I had to edit a crappy large poster cause I couldn't find one big enough.
Before we begin this week’s movie let me tell you all a quick story that some of you may find to be funny. When I was planning this website many months back I put together a grand list of bad movies based on popular websites who vote for the worst movies of all time. I also asked many friends from all over the world to name me some bad movies. One of my friends suggested I go out and hire a movie called Bugs since it is a terrible movie.
I listened to my friend’s advice and hired the movie. Without a doubt it was a terrible movie as my friend suggested. I spoke to him about it and he began talking to me about scenes in the movie that I didn’t even remember. As it turns out he was talking about he was talking about the 2007 movie Bugs which involves some type of psychological thrillers. So I watched a totally different crap movie about bugs.
Now I bet you are all wondering what is so bad about this movie. Firstly it was a B-Movie but like I said there are good B-Movies out there and not all of them have to be terrible. This movie however was terrible, really terrible, like Curse of the Komodo terrible but at least I could watch it all the way through. Where shall I begin with this bad boy?
SMELLS LIKE STARSHIP TROOPERS!!!
If you look hard enough you'll be able to see a big, bad bug.
The first thing that came to my head when I first watched this piece of crap was the fact that it reminded me so bad of a favourite movie of mine Starship Troopers. If you haven’t seen this movie it came out about 10 years ago and was about a futuristic war humans were fighting against these gigantic alien bug-like creatures. The bugs in this movie, well it is safe to say that this movie appeared to have copied Starship Troopers.
Firstly it appears that the bugs in this movie have very hard external skeletons which bullets can’t penetrate through. Like any bad movie though it seems that the theory is thrown out the window once the main character starts shooting at it. Remember people when the movie’s hero is holding a gun he can empower his bullets to hit and kill anything with a single shot. The same rule applies here when the idiot hero of the movie starts killing bugs with normal bullets.
Just like Starship Troopers this movie contains bugs from an alien species only these guys appear to date back to the prehistoric era of time. Yeah people that’s right, seems like these guys have been around since the beginning of time and landed on earth with the dinosaurs. Give me a damn break. Why the hell would any alien species want to land here in a time before humans were around? Aliens can screw with the heads of human but not stupid gigantic lizards.
Something that did annoy me about Starship Troopers was that it lacked some elements in its script, mainly the whole reason why the humans and the bugs were fighting in the first place. It was never really explained in the movie it was more “here’s the war, now watch it” which did work ok since you really don’t want to spend to much time focusing on how the war started. In Bugs, the same thing was applied which kind of made the movie a bit more weird. It was like “here are the bugs, they’re hungry” and that was it. What the hell were the bugs doing here to begin with? Was the asteroid that supposedly killed the dinosaurs actually a piece of their planet?
What’s funny is that these guys were in hibernation for millions of years. Yeah that’s right; millions of years it wasn’t like that had buried themselves deep within the center of the earth instead they were in hibernation for millions of years. It wasn’t noise that woke them up either. They were ‘activated’ by water just like sea monkeys. I kid you not this is the explanation that was given. At least this movie tells us how the bugs came to be unlike Starship Troopers but it was bad. I’d rather go with not telling people how the bugs came about than to inform people that just like sea monkeys they came to life with water.
Unlike Starship Troopers though this movie contains very badly animated deadly bugs. I don’t know how to describe these guys honestly and that dark picture doesn’t help out either. By the way I think I will be limited to the amount of pictures I will be using for this review since there are little pictures available which I can’t blame anyone for posting them since the movie was that bad. These bugs are some stupid combination of big ants with sharp pinchers and scorpion tails. The director could have been a little creative with the design of the bugs and at least made them look interesting. It looks like the design was based of a crappy drawing from a five year old.
It’s pretty safe to assume that a lot of B-Grade movies will steal a lot of their ideas from successful movies around this time. Though it was released about six years after Starship Troopers the similarities are there. We have huge (kinda) alien bugs with supposed bullet-proof shells that mysteriously popped up out of nowhere as they became wet. If you’re reading this thinking there is no way this movie can’t get any worse it does. If bad movies have taught me anything they’ve taught me that certain industries can be dangerous. Come back tomorrow and we’ll have a look at the violent world of tunnel engineering.
The crap has only yet begun Bucket Heads, it has only begun…
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