Bucket Worthy Movies of 2008?
December 30th 2007 02:04
Category: No Category
There's a big line up of movies headed straight for the bucket coming out next year Bucket Heads. Which movies will be added to the already over-flowing bucket of crap next year? Let's find out!
While surfing around IMDB’s website I decided to check out movies coming out next year. While looking at the list I can safely say that I can smell future movies floating around in the Bucket! Let’s take a look at a few movies that I feel are going to be Bucket-worthy when the year 2008 hits in a few days time.
Be Kind Rewind.
Plot: Unaware that he has a magnetized brain, a man accidentally erases every tape at the video store where his friend works. In order to satisfy the store's most loyal renter, an aging woman with signs of dementia, the two men set out to remake the lost films.
Thoughts: A magnetized brain? What the hell? It sounds bad just from the plot so mentioning Jack Black and Mos Def will just add to the badness. Jack Black is a funny guy, I thought School of Rock was a good movie and Shallow Hal, but a lot of his recent movies have sucked. This plot sounds stupid. I will admit it does sound like it has a little bit of slight potential to be an ok movie, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Big Stan.
Plot: con man-turned-convict takes up kung fu in order to defend himself in prison.
Thoughts: Another Rob Schneider film… and trust me when I say there are a lot of his movies floating around in the Bucket. If it’s anything like his other movies its going to be very unfunny with the same thing happy over and over for ninety minutes or so.
College Road Trip.
Plot: When an overachieving high school student decides to travel around the country to choose the perfect college, her overprotective cop father decides to accompany her in order to keep her on the straight and narrow.
Thoughts: This sounds crap right off the bat, and mentioning that it’s a Disney movie just makes it worse. I think this has to be one of the first ‘road trip’ movies I’ve heard of that isn’t going to involve nudity, drugs, alcohol or any sexual references. Martin Lawrence plays the father, and all movies that he stars in by himself ALWAYS suck.
The Dark Knight
Plot: Batman and James Gordon join forces with Gotham's new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, to take on a psychotic bank robber known as The Joker, whilst other forces plot against them, and Joker's crimes grow more and more deadly.
Thoughts: Just kidding! Don't worry I won't be throwing this movie in the Bucket anytime soon. This is one movie that I am looking forward to very very badly. I'd give up my first born child for it, though I don't have one, so to make up for it I'd probably kidnap or buy a child over E-Bay then give it up to watch this movie. It's going to be kick ass and I cannot wait for it!
First Sunday.
Plot: Two petty criminals bungle their plot to rip-off a local church, only to learn the error of their ways from the parishioners they're holding hostage.
Thoughts: Oh this one is going to suck. It sounds terrible and knowing that Ice Cube is going to be in yet another stupid comedy really puts the icing on the cake.
The Hottie and the Nottie.
Plot: Nate moves to L.A. to track down Cristabel, the woman he's been in love with since childhood, only to discover that his plan to woo her only has one hurdle to overcome: what to do with June, Cristabel's ever-present, not-so-hot best friend? What's even more complicating is Nate's growing feelings for June, whose true beauty starts to emerge.
Thoughts: It sounds like a bad romantic-comedy though I’ve yet to see a good romantic-comedy. You know what sucks about this movie? Paris Hilton plays the ‘Hottie’. Let’s hope she acts well in this movie which leads to a very good movie career cause from what I heard, Granddaddy Hilton is going to give away 95% of his fortune to charity when he dies.
How She Move.
Plot: A family tragedy forces a young student to drop out of her private school and return to her old neighborhood, where she eventually rediscovers her love of step dancing.
Thoughts: Another damn dance-off movie? What pains me the most is the fact I will soon have to sit through ten of these movies when the time comes and I’m going to be writing the exact same thing over and over and over again Bucket Heads. After I’m done with crap dance movies like this, I’ll find a lot of joy in dropping a concrete brick onto my foot.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.
Plot: Farmer Daimon sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son -- two acts committed by the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors who are controlled by the evil Gallian.
Thoughts: This was a video game that was meant to be set in a dungeon but from what I’ve seen there are no dungeons in this movie or any underground caverns for that matter. Now that I think about it this video game wasn’t good, which can only mean that there is just one evil director out there who would even make such a movie… Uwe Boll I shall come for your soul my friend!
Mama, I Want to Sing!
Plot: A preacher's daughter endeavors to become a pop sensation.
Thoughts: If there something I hate than dance movies where cheerleader/street thug dancing groups square off it’s the journey of some idiot trying to become a singer which in the end she becomes a HUGE success. This is gonna suck I know it.
Meet the Spartans.
Plot: Parody of the movie 300.
Thoughts: Since Scary Movie 1, and maybe 3, the creators of *Insert Genre* Movie have failed to make anything good. I know this is just going to be as bad as Epic Movie, which I have yet to see since I knew it was going to be terrible from the start.
Prom Night.
Plot: A group of high school students are stalked on their prom night by a vengeful killer who years ago witnessed the same kids cause a young girl's accidental death.
Thoughts: Haven’t I heard of something similar that came out years ago? I’m pretty sure there was a horror movie out there that involved someone killing a bunch of young punks that were responsible for the death of a young adult. Well this sounds like a complete rip-off involving the cliché usage of a prom in a horror movie so it’s gonna be a crap movie.
Starship Dave.
Plot: Tiny aliens pilot a spacecraft that takes the form of a human, while the captain of the ship jeopardizes his crew and their mission to save their planet when he falls for beautiful earthling.
Thoughts: Eddie Murphy plays the spaceship and the last time he was in a sci-fi/comedy movie, Pluto Nash, it made only $4 million and it had a budget of like $100 million. So who the hell had the great idea of having him star in another comedy like this? The last movie Murphy made was probably the Nutty Professor, but looking back at it now it wasn’t even that funny. I know this movie is going to be really bad so I look forward to reviewing that AND Pluto Nash in the future.
Step Up 2 the Streets.
Plot: At the Maryland School of the Arts, students Andie and Chase look to impress at an underground street-dance competition by forming a crew with the school's best performers.
Thoughts: ANOTHER DANCE MOVIE!? God damn these people are really pushing my patience here. I’m not going to say anything but god DAMN it!
Teeth.
Plot: High school student Dawn, still a stranger to her own body, discovers she has a physical advantage when she becomes the object of male violence.
Thoughts: Sounds like one of those killer poem queen movie rip-offs you’ve seen one too many of Bucket Heads. Want to know what her power is? She has teeth in her vagina. Yes, you read that right, teeth in her vagina. Create your own little cynical one-liner because there’s too many floating around in my head to put down.
Witless Protection.
Plot: A small-town sheriff rescues a woman he believes has been kidnapped, only to realize he's snatched-up the star witness for an upcoming white-collar crime trial. Now he has to find a way to protect both of their hides from the no-good-types out to do them in.
Thoughts: It stars Larry the Cable Guy and it’s going to suck. The name of the movie just sounds bad enough.
It’s going to be a very nasty year coming up at the cinemas but never fear, I shall go where no viewer dare go before. I will watch and report this crap so that no one will ever have the pain of watching these movies ever!
Happy New Year Bucket Heads! All the best for 2008!
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Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Bucket Snipets
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Anything with Eddie Murphy makes me skeptical... when was the last time he was in a decent movie?
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Bucket Snipets
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Bucket Snipets
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Michaelie
Comment by Wayne F
Bucket Movies
Bucket Snipets
My friend made the banner for me, I shall pass on your comments to him. I think he did a pretty good job as well. So many bad movies out there but I had to pick only a few characters for the banner. I could have done more but I think it would have been overkill.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life