BloodRayne - Part 2
December 25th 2007 01:38
Category: No Category
Poor Sebastian fell victim to one of the many badly co-ordinated fight scenes in the movie.
First allow me to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I hope your day is one full of joy, happiness and no crappy Christmas movies. On that note, let us move on to our latest movie under the spotlight, BloodRayne.
It really annoys me when a movie that is one of the action/adventure genre fails to deliver good fight scenes. When I hire an action movie or go to watch one at the cinema I always expect to see at least one awesome fight scene. There are no good fight scenes in BloodRayne as a result of horrible camera work and overall bad fight choreography. Some of these fights end so fast or end due to a fluke victory it really makes you mad. So saying that I present to you:
BAD FIGHT SCENES!!!
I’m going to go through each fight scene as best as I can. If there isn’t much written down for a fight scene, it’s most likely that is all that happened in that fight scene.
Fight Scene #1: Rayne vs. Gypsy Camp.
Rayne almost gets raped while she is asleep so she rips out some guys throat, runs out of her cabin then kills like seven guys before she escapes. That’s all I remember about this scene due to two reasons:
1 – The camera lighting was very poor. It was so dark all I could make out were people screaming and hitting the ground.
2 – Very, VERY quick camera shots. I hate this technique so much I don’t know why directors bother using this. Whenever there is a fight scene some directors will just jump all over the place every second without showing anything but a still shot of some guy getting stabbed or shot or hit or something.
Fight Scene #2: Rayne vs. Big Ugly Bastard.
Don’t blink because you are going to miss what happens in this scene. Basically Rayne runs around a pillar, runs around the hideous brute and stabs him from behind, or slits his throat I can’t remember as it happened that quick. That big troll thing should have kicked her ass. The troll from Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring lasted way longer and he kicked more ass then that! Again, quick edited shots plus bad lighting adds to another bad fight scene.
Fight Scene #3: Rayne & Monastery Monks vs. Evil King’s Army vs. Brimstone Society vs. Vampire Lord’s Army.
There was SO much happening here I had no clue as to what the hell was going on. It started off with an attack from the Evil King’s Army so Rayne the monks out. By the way, this scene taught me that a sharp steel sword has NO effect on a piece of wood. It seems that wood is a magical indestructible material in this period of time.
So monks are fighting the king’s men, then the vampires jump in, then the Brimestone people jump in. The camera bounced around the place from monks to knights to vampires to others to Rayne it was like it couldn’t keep up with anything that was going on. Rayne, who is meant to be a half vampire half human hybrid, fights it out with one of the vampires and gets knocked out cold with a single punch to the head. So she can destroy a camp full of gypsies and take out a tall ogre in less than ten seconds but can’t handle one damn punch to the head? What a load of crap.
Fight Scene #4: Meatloaf vs. Brimstone Society.
No I’m not talking about form of food that is a log of meat, I’m talking about the singer who can’t act that looks like a log of meat. Yes people Meatloaf is some ugly vampire pig with a bad mullet and a room full of hot vampire women. He is holding Rayne captive so the Brimstone Society come to save her.
This isn’t even a damn fight scene it’s just Meatloaf and the leader of the Brimstones standing around talking. They break a window and the sunlight zaps Meatloaf roasting him. Meatloaf roasts! See what I did there? Cause you roast a Meatloaf and in the movie Meatloaf roasts. I will pat myself on the back for that one even if you thought it was lame.
Fight Scene #5: Rayne vs. Katarin.
Katarin is a member of the Brimstone Society who is secretly working for her father, the evil king who was turned into a vampire. She wants to get him the three artifacts so her father can return back to normal. So she leads his men into the society when Rayne and her friends leave and kill everyone. It turns out one of the artifacts of the vampire they everyone is looking for was inside the society’s castle.
Rayne comes back, finds the heart and battles Katarin underneath the water. Yeah, they roll around in the water for like over a minute. Rayne ends up winning by swimming up to the surface with Katarin to bite her neck. The lighting was slightly improved, but the camera rolled around with the characters whenever they spun around which made me want to hurl all over the place.
Fight Scene #6: Rayne, Vladimir & Sebastian vs. Kagan, Domastir & Vampires.
Just like the fight involving pretty much everyone at the monastery, this fight scene jumped around the place. This takes place in the vampire Lord’s castle. Fighting for the light we have Rayne, Vladimir (leader of the Brimstone Society) and Sebastian (some weak young guy who banged Rayne), and fighting for the bad guys we have the Lord of Vampires Kagan, his right-hand man Domastir and about a dozen or more vampires.
This is what happens. Vladimir and Sebastian kills a bunch of vampires, they free Rayne, Rayne kills a bunch of a vampires, Domastir and Sebastian fight, Vladimir and Kagan fight, Rayne kills more vampires, Kagan wounds Vladimir deeply, Sebastian kills Domastir, Rayne kills off the rest of the vampires, Kagan wounds Sebastian deeply, Rayne and Kagan stand around talking, Rayne kills Kagan with the help of Vladimir, Vladimir dies and so does Sebastian.
If you read all of that that is pretty much what happens in that amount of time. Ok, maybe a minute or so longer but that is what happens. There are two parts in this scene that I found interesting. The first is when Sebastian and Domastir are fighting. Domastir is on his knees and Sebastian has his hands gripping the BLADE of the sword tightly to cut Domastir’s neck. The blade barely touches Domastir’s neck and it explodes. Yes you read that right, his neck just pops wide open and blood rushes out.
The second thing I found interesting was the fight between Rayne and her father Kagan. The actor who played Kagan, Sir Ben Kingsley, looked like he did not want to be there. He didn’t even attempt to act in this scene. I’ll get to more about this in a future post but it’s pretty funny to watch.
So the final battle in the movie lasts about three minutes and everyone but Rayne dies in the end. It’s a bad fight scene just to add to all the other bad fight scenes in the movie. They were poorly directed, dimly light and the sudden wins for the good guys really annoyed me. Normally you have struggle, bad guy kicks the crap out of good guy, good guy comes back, a second struggle, bad guy dies. But this movie just had, good guy wins, that’s it. No struggle at all. If there was, it ended in a split second and the good guy won until a bad guy jumped him from behind.
So what could be worse than the bad fight scenes in this movie? Why not add the bad acting that was attached to this pile of crap as well. Come back tomorrow Bucket Heads and we’ll take a look at why this terrible movie contains some very bad acting. I even dare say that the actors in Curse of the Komodo could act better then these guys.
She can take on her Vampire Lord father, dozens of vampires, a bunch of gypsies, a huge ugly son of a bitch yet Rayne can’t handle a punch? Some half breed vampire/human heroine.
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