Benchwarmers - Final Thoughts
February 12th 2009 20:58
To View The Full Synopsis Of This Movie, Click This Link!
So many people told me that The Benchwarmers was hilarious. When my friends and I watched it, they left in about fifteen minutes but I continued to watch it for you – my Bucket Heads! It was just as funny as Epic Movie as well as any Rob Schneider movie that’s come out in the past… fifteen years? Maybe fourteen and a half? I don’t know, and I don’t care… here’s my Final Thoughts!
Don’t you love advertisements?
Movies today cram in so much advertising it’s ridiculous. Does anyone remember when the purpose of a movie was to actually… you know… BE A MOVIE!? A lot of the movies I see today just push a whole bunch of products and they do it so sneaky! This movie is guilty of doing it. They had Pizza Hut, Pepsi, M&Ms, Nike, Playstation, Mountain Dew and a lot more products. It was like every five minutes something new would pop up. After I watched this I felt like going to PIZZA HUT and drink PEPSI as I wondered what game I would play on my PLAYSTATION when I got home.
It’s game after game after game…
The movie went for about ninety minutes and in that time, about seventy minutes was wasted on boring games of baseball. Yeah I know you’re thinking “Why the hell is he complaining about that when the movie is about baseball?” Well I’ll tell you this – there were so many games you would have thought they would change it up a bit. It was game after game of Gus winning it for the team. Gus didn’t win it, Clark stopped sucking and won. After that Richie stopped sucking and won. They’d play a few more games and pull off a miracle. Too long, and too predictable.
Look it’s Napoleon Dynamite…
Every since Jon Heder played Napoleon Dynamite he hasn’t been able to act differently. When I was watching The Benchwarmers I couldn’t help but think of Napoleon Dynamite when I watched him. Why? Well he had the same voice… at least I think it’s not his real voice? I dunno, but he looked the same as well. You might say “But that’s how he looks you dumbass” however, isn’t there a department called “Make-Up”? Yeah that’s what I thought… dumbass.
The character of Clark also acted the same way that Napoleon Dynamite did. He was nerdy and was a huge loser but he didn’t eat his own snot and dead bugs. Regardless Clark was too close to Napoleon Dynamite. They didn’t think people would think that?
And Dennis Finch…
Hey look another character stolen from something else! This time they were smart and didn’t steal a character out of a recently popular movie, but stole it from a crappy television show! This time it was David Spade playing Richie, who is basically a clone of Just Shoot Me’s Dennis Finch. Now that I think about it, all David Spade can play is that little annoying guy everyone wants to punch but for some reason loves. Hmm…
Anyway, Clark was some annoying loser who had a mouth full of unfunny comments. Dennis Finch was an annoying loser who had a mouth full of unfunny comments. See where I am going with this? David Spade once again playing the same damn character resulting in many unfunny moments.
And Rob Schneider…
Do I really need to go on? In every single movie that I have seen him in Rob Schneider plays something different. An animal, a gigolo, a girl that was turned into a guy… the list is endless. In all those movies he plays some idiot who gets himself into many “hilarious” situations because of his crazy antics! People think he is funny but I seen through the crappy acting.
I’ll give him credit in this movie though. Instead of being an idiot Schneider plays Gus – how has to be the most boring character in a movie that I have ever seen. If Schneider’s aim with this role was to be unfunny then give this son of a bitch an Oscar! It was the best worst acting I have ever seen in a comedy movie! Normally people in comedy movies try and be funny – and fail badly. Schneider didn’t even try to be funny at all, and I think it’s a good thing he didn’t. Can you imagine how bad this movie would have been if he tried?
Final Thoughts.
I say without a doubt that The Benchwarmers has to be one of the most overrated comedy movies that I have ever heard about. I still don’t know why my parents or other people I know found this so damn funny. Maybe I’ve turned my back on slap-stick, childish comedies… well I guess that happens when you have become enlightened as I have. If you’re jealous of this do not fear dear Bucket Heads I shall teach thee the ways.
So let’s see… Rob Schneider, David Spade and Jon Heder play the same characters they have been playing for years. Have Adam Sandler’s production company run the show, and have Sandler hire all of his actor buddies for the roles as well, and you have yourself one very unfunny movie. It was a nice change to see Schneider be dull and boring for once though and I think he took the role too seriously. I think they would have saved a lot of money just by having a cardboard cutout of him… hell it might have been more entertaining!
There you have it Bucket Heads another bad comedy that’s being thrown back into the bucket to drown with the other horrible comedies lurking around at the bottom. Until my next review, have a safe weekend!
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